One more FAQ...

One more question that I forgot from my last post.  It's not one that I've been asked, but I know that people wonder.  How can you love a child that's "not your own"...not yours biologically...can you love them as much as your own child?  The only thing I know to say about this is when we opened an email with her picture and file attached we knew immediately that this was our daughter.  I don't look at her as "a child I'm keeping" or "babysitting"...she's always been my daughter even before I met her.  I've never looked at her any other way so how could I love her any less than my biological children since she's my child too?  I don't look at her any other way. 

It's just like God looks at me.  He accepts me as His child warts and all.  He actually wanted me...the way I am and the way that I was.  It's amazing and sometimes hard to fathom or explain, but yet it's true!  I love my daughter...warts and all just as much as I love my biological children because they're all my children! :-)  I love to hear them call me Mama/Mom/Mommy - anything as long as they call me!  And my heavenly Father loves when I call Him daddy and talk to Him. I'm amazed at His love for me the way that I can treat Him sometimes...just like I love my 3 earthly children no matter how they treat me.

FAQ...

This is my Frequently Asked Questions post.  We get asked a lot of questions about adoption and we're happy to answer them as we're passionate about the subject obviously, but I thought it might be good to post them here as some people may not have the courage to ask...some are just things that people have said that I would like to respond to as well.

• Truly the most popular question I'm asked (which I think is somewhat humorous) is "does she speak any English"?  She did NOT speak any English when we got her.  She was from an orphanage in China and the people that work there are Chinese so she knew mainly Cantonese.  She now speaks some words and copies us with English words and is picking things up pretty well.

• "Why did you pick China? Aren't there children in America that need good homes?"  Yes, there are children in America that need good homes...forever families and good foster care are both needed.  The short answer to the first part of this question is that we felt like God called us to adopt from China.  The longer answer/story can be found here if you'd like to understand more of how we came to our decision.

• "How did you know what to do at first or how to start the process?"  We didn't know a whole lot about adoption when we first started this journey, I'm embarassed to say.  We started by choosing an adoption agency first.  We chose (and HIGHLY recommend) an agency in our hometown of Birmingham, AL (but they have other offices in other states) named Lifeline Children's Services.  They were wonderful about guiding us every step of the way and helping us with resources to learn more about adoption and our specific country from which we were adopting.  Their website (linked above...just click on their name) is a wealth of information if you're even slightly interested in adoption.

• "Isn't it expensive to adopt internationally?"  Yes, it is expensive to adopt, but we serve a big God and we chose to be obedient.  It would have been "easy" to use that excuse and say that we didn't have the money and we wouldn't have been lying! It cost us what some people make in a whole year (China adoption estimated costs), but God provided every last dime so that we didn't go into one penny of debt.  It was in different ways...through fundraisers, generosity of friends and family, generosity of complete strangers, selling things God told us we didn't need anymore and a lot of hard work, but God provided and He continues to do so. There are also grants available - God chose to provide in other ways for us, but we have plenty of friends that were blessed with these type of grants. (side note: for more information on what it costs to adopt or resources for grants that are available - please go to our adoption agency's website at www.lifelineadoption.org)

• "She seems to have adjusted well...is she always that happy?"  We feel very blessed with how MJ has adjusted, however, of course she isn't always happy.  But who takes pictures and posts them of their child when they're throwing a fit or pouting?  First of all...she's TWO!  Second of all, this is all very new and different for her....EVERY single thing about it is new for her...and have I mentioned she's TWO?!  There are things that she doesn't like and she lets us know about it, but so did my biological children.  The biggest difference is my biological children didn't come into our family not knowing who their mom and dad were.  They also were naturally and immediately bonded and attached to us as a family.  They had never been abandoned or raised with a group of children they weren't blood related to when they got here either.  MJ didn't enter our family that way.  She was handed to complete strangers that didn't look like her and she didn't understand because they didn't speak her language.  She was taken away from the only care givers that she knew which were wonderful nannies from an incredible organization called Half the Sky.  We believe that is part of the reason that she has adjusted this well is because of people like Half the Sky that provide wonderful care for these precious children which helps them learn proper bonding and attachment.

• "How are your boys adjusting and how did they respond when you told them about wanting to adopt?"  When we first told the boys that we wanted to adopt they seemed excited, but I'm not sure that they knew or understood exactly what all that entailed.  They learned as we did over time that it was going to take some sacrifices (everything was weighed with that financial perspective) and that some would be permanent.  That being said, they have adjusted well and welcomed having a little sister with open arms so far!  My 10 year old even said last week, "Why would anyone want to give up MJ? She's so awesome!" They're very loving toward her and protective of her.  I'm sure there are times that they don't like some of the financial sacrifices that we've had to make when they're friends are talking about their awesome spring break trip, but I also would hope that they are learning something about what's important in life.

• "Is it hard to adopt?"  I answer that mainly with another question for those that are parents...is parenting hard?  Absolutely!  Parenting in general is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, but I also wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING!  Each one of my children were meant for this crazy family (God help them)!  It has different challenges than parenting your biological children...for some of the reasons stated above, but I still wouldn't trade it for anything.  The adoption process in general isn't hard...it's just a lot of paperwork.  Our process from start to finish (to adopt from China) took about 18 months.  This varies with different countries and different circumstances so don't expect the process to be an exact science, but your agency will keep you informed of time lines as much as possible and can give you estimates based on the majority of the adoptions they have done in that country.

• Last but not least - this one I probably cringe at the most: "It is just so wonderful what you did for this child...I hope she realizes one day how blessed she is."  NO WAY!!!!!!!!!  We are the ones who have been blessed.  Trust me, we didn't feel sad for the orphans and just wake up one morning on a whim and decide to adopt.  We were adopted as God's children and James 1:27 says, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  For our family, obedience to this verse was answering the call to adopt.  It isn't for everyone, but it was for us.  We are just everyday people trying to love God with all our hearts, minds and souls and love others as ourselves (Luke 10:27).  We didn't do anything spectacular and we're not super Christians.  We're messed up and dysfunctional as much as the next guy! We're people that struggle and sometimes wonder, "why" just like you.  The night of "gotcha day" I was in a hotel room in China crying and telling God and my husband that I didn't know if I could do it.  The fact is that I can't do it, but God can do it through me if I let Him.  That's the only way I know how to get through some days and times...and I think that's ok. :-)

I hope that this has been helpful.  If there are other questions that I didn't answer that you want to know then leave it in the comments and I'll try to answer.  I have tried to be as honest as possible.  I am by no means an expert on adoption, but I told the Lord that I would use every opportunity to be an advocate for this miracle of adoption that he called us to and so I'm trying to hold up my end of the bargain.  Adoption is a perfect picture of the gospel so it's an excellent platform to be able to share hope with people!

It's not about me...

The first line in Rick Warren's book "The Purpose Driven Life" is..."it's not about you."  I've read that book, I grew up in church, I went to Christian school, I went to Bible college, I'm married to a Pastor/Church planter, yada yada yada...who cares? I have SOOOOOOO much to learn about it not being about me. I've dealt with pride in the past and it's not a fun lesson to learn.  What I'm learning right now is that line from that book doesn't always mean you're prideful.  It can mean you're selfish (which can be rooted in pride obviously).

If there is anything that I learned when I had my first child...it's that I'm selfish.  Then I regressed and forgot that little nugget.  I had a 2nd child and was reminded that I'm selfish.  Time went on and I moved on from changing that behavior.  We started going through the adoption process and information and learned before we travelled that we needed to think about things from her perspective.  It helps you to understand why she might react or act out in a certain way.  If I'm anything...I'm honest...and to be honest with you...that  part is somewhat easy when you're in her country.  It's easy to think of things from her perspective...you're somewhat living in it still.  It's even easy to do that the first week or so when you're home, but as you get comfy in your own home and try and get back into your routine...you can easily forget it.  Especially when you're selfish like me.

I have learned a lot about many things through being a parent...and now a parent of an adopted child, but nothing as blatantly obvious to me as (once again) that I'm selfish.  Hard headed much? I get so frustrated with myself that I can't seem to get this life lesson...it's not about me...it's not even about my children or my husband, but it's about Jesus!  I want to complain about how much life I've "given up" for my kids...or to plant a church...or WHATEVER.

I believe that the enemy likes to plant those little things in our heads to get us focused on ourselves rather than what's important and what God has called us to do.  It's a battle of the mind for me so I know I need to keep my mind on Christ and His calling.  I know a lot of things don't make sense to most people out there, but God called us to plant a church, He called us to adopt knowing we wouldn't have 1 income for 6 months in the middle of that and He called me to leave a great job with great people that I loved to stay home with these children.  If that's crazy then I guess you're reading a blog of a crazy person (you can see below that our newest addition fits in well).

I came across these verses yesterday in my devotions (and I love it in the NLT version):
2 Corinthians 5:13 If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit. 14 Either way, Christ's love controls us. Since we believe that christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life.

I pray that we're bringing glory to God through everything. I pray that it benefits others because Christ's love controls us...crazy or not! So I renounce for GOOD my selfishness and move toward service...Christ first, then family and then others so this family of 5 can make a difference!

2 steps forward 3 steps back...

The title is the way I feel sometimes, but I got some very wise advise about not looking at the day to day, but looking at a week or a month at a time.  We haven't even been home a month.  We have had MJ physically with us only 5 weeks.  These are things that I have to keep reminding myself because it seems like she fits in so well.  Example:

She really has taken to her brothers.  She loves when they are around.  She loves picking them up from school and being with them in the afternoons.  They protect her.  They give her everything she points to no matter what...I have to tell them not to give her EVERYTHING she asks for, but they love making her smile.  We were at the park one day last week and there was a little girl standing in front of MJ and they were just looking at each other...staring.  Carson walked over to them and I couldn't hear what he said, but he didn't look "nice".  I asked him not to be mean to the little girl and he said, "Mom, if she is mean to MJ then I'll hurt her".  I honestly had to keep from laughing in order to instruct him that's not how we do things, but it was so precious in a strange way. *grins*

Early Friday morning we were awakened by MJ crying in her bed in our room.  She had thrown up on herself and her bed.  She threw up several more times Friday morning.  I believe that she had a stomach virus after speaking with the nurse.  There goes the 3 steps back.  Although it was a good opportunity for me to bond with her and show her that I am her mommy that meets her needs...I think it set us a little backward in the eating department.  I felt like we were doing pretty well with that, but ever since that it's been a challenge.  I know it will work itself out though eventually...I'm ust trying to be patient.

We're doing much better in the sleeping department both in schedule for nap times during the week and at night.  She's really doing remarkably well overall so I truly can't complain!  There are harder days than others, but I try to remind myself that it's a marathon and not a sprint.  I try not to look at one day, but things overall.  This morning we played with puzzles for about 30 minutes.  That may not sound like a lot to you guys, but this is huge!! I haven't been able to get her to play with much of anything past a few minutes with or without me so for her to play with puzzles with me for that long is a big deal!

Please continue to pray us through continued adjustment and transition.  Also, pray for several of our friends who just experienced gotcha day and are beginning their adoption journey. We appreciate the support of so many!

Adopted for Life...

God used Dr. Moore's book, Adopted for Life, (among many other things) to change my heart toward adoption.  Here is a short video he did explaining the church's role with orphan care...great stuff from a wise man whom I respect but never met.


Russell Moore from Christian Alliance for Orphans on Vimeo.

Two weeks and counting...

Yesterday marked two weeks since we came home.  I have to say that most of the time I feel like it has been longer since MJ seems to have fit in with our family so well.  I was telling someone last week that I don't know why I pray for something and then I'm surprised when God does it.  We've prayed for this to be a seamless transition.  For the most part it has been!  There have only been a few minor things that we've had to deal with like sleeping issues at first, some 2 year old fits and a temper to boot! And then there are spontaneous moments like this...

We've also been trying to figure out what foods that she likes and get her on a regular eating schedule.  She likes to graze. She would rather eat just a little at breakfast and two hours later have a snack, then an hour later have lunch...you get the picture.  That has been a challenge along with the fact that she doesn't like a lot of things that we eat, but we're stumbling our way through as best as possible.

A couple of funny things as far as the sleeping goes: she has just this week gotten better on being able to transfer her without her waking up after we get her to sleep.  Prior to this she would wake up and it would be another 20 minutes or so to get her back to sleep.  We have tried to get her to just lay down and go to sleep in her toddler bed...we thought putting it in the boys' room would help, but it didn't.  We moved the toddler bed to our room beside our bed.  The past 2 nights when we've laid her in the toddler bed she's done great and didn't wake up!  Well, 2 nights ago around 3:00AM I heard her moving around on the mattress in her bed...which isn't uncommon as she's a very active sleeper.  I couldn't find my glasses and couldn't see over there because she's on Ernie's side of the bed beside him since I sleep near a wall.  Anyway, I woke up Ernie to check on her and he said "she's not there".  WHAT???  We got up and she had walked across the hall into the boys' room and was standing over Carson about to nudge him to wake him up!  I thought that was hilarious.  Ernie picked her up and got her back to sleep and all was well.  Last night was a different story.  Like I said, she moves all over all during the night.  Well, apparently she had moved either sideways during the night or down toward the foot of the toddler bed where the rails stop and she fell off the bed.  Luckily those little beds are close to the ground for that reason, but it scared her and us to death!  We'll see what tonight holds...Carson will be gone to his first sleepover (sniff sniff) and Jackson has a GRC activity at school and I can't pick him up until 8:20!

I have been doing my best to adjust to being a stay at home/work from home mom.  Most of the time I absolutely love it. Some of the time I miss adult conversation.  Some nights I'm more exhausted than I was after working more than 40 hours a week!  All of the time I cherish it. I know this is what God has called me to do for this time.  I pray I'm doing it justice.  Today the boys have their last day of after school care.  I'm so grateful for this.  I appreciate that the schools offer this for families who work, but I haven't liked my children being there for some time.  There have been so many things that they  have learned from older kids that they're around during that time that they normally wouldn't be and I haven't been happy about it at all.  I'm so excited about having this time with all 3 of my kids! I've never had this before and I'm looking forward to it.  I know it will be yet another adjustment for me, but I'm up for the challenge! I'll have to get MJ on a good schedule so that her nap gets done in time for her to get in carpool line with me...then keep her entertained while she's in her carseat and the car isn't moving.  I need to be first in line at 1 school in order to be able to pick up the other one in time at the other school.  Mom's shuttle service is open for business!  Can't wait until all 3 are involved in extra-curricular activies! (grin)  Speaking of...here is my favorite of all 3 children (that still sounds strange and exciting at the same time to me)...

The Ups and Downs of Adoption...

We have been home a little over a week and there have been ups and downs to be honest...but isn't it that way with most things? We have had great moments where she has loved on us and hugged and kissed and copied words we've said. We've had moments at the park with her big brothers where she has had sheer joy going down slides with them. Then we've had whining, fits, crying, grieving and lack of sleep. But the good certainly outweighs the bad! What a precious child she is. We have gotten to see her little personality come out more and more each day. Remember how concerned I was about her file saying how quiet she was and how she didn't like loud noises and we had loud noisy boys? Ha! That is funny!!!!! She is louder than them! She loves playing with them and being noisy with them. I think she can hold her own against her big brothers...not worried at all! It also said she had a temper...now that part couldn't be closer to the truth! We have seen that...or the terrible 2's (not sure which) plenty of times. It is quite a sight to behold...can put this red head's fits to shame I hate to say! I worry about everything now though. This is one of the ugly truths about me. I have worried about my job as a parent with my boys of course, but not as much as I do with her. I know this is bad so please don't preach at me in your comment. :) Your encouragement would be appreciated though. LOL. See...I'm an adoption newbie. I don't have a clue what I'm doing. My poor husband and also my friend who has also adopted...I KNOW I have to be driving them crazy! They have talked me off the ledge so many times this past week. Ugh! I really am trying to take a step back and calm down and take a deep breath and let God do what only He can do, but that is so easy to say and not to do. I really am like this with most major things, but it has just gone into hyper mode since we have been home. My precious hubby reminded me I've never been home full time with a 2 year old though. I had forgotten that. I've always been working and they were in day care at 2. This makes me sad, but I know that i was where God put me at the time. Now God has put me at home. I love it...don't get me wrong, but it's an adjustment. And add a 2 year old that doesn't know me and I don't know her and we can't communicate with each other very well and that makes it even more of an adjustment! I know that my God who called us to this is faithful though. I am encouraged by this fact. I know that things will get better and communication will improve eventually and it will seem like she has been with us her whole life at some point in time. Until then I will trust...my faith will be increased and my trust will be stretched and I will see God's sovereignty more than I ever have. I have to...this is my only hope to not mess up all things parental that have been entrusted to unworthy me. Keep praying for us as parents and for our 3 kids...and mostly that we make much of Jesus in all we do.

Wide awake at 3AM with Barney

Never say never. I said that I would never drive a mini van. Well documented that I do. I said I would never have a child sleep in the bed with us. I was successful with the first 2 kids. We have had one sleeping in bed with us now for over a week. I swore I'd never watch Barney, and i was also successful with the first 2 children on that, but if said 3rd child that is supposed to be sleeping in the bed were sleeping then in wouldn't have it on. Someone else that adopted this past week asked if I had a blog. She asked if it was going to be "real" or only have the sweet and sappy side of adoption. Se obviously didn't know me very well. :) So here is the " real" side now. It's 3AM and we've been awake since 1. We had a 15 hour plane ride before that to get here...well, to Chicago. We were already tired walking zombies before getting to this point. Now we've had about 5 hours of sleep and not feeling much better while watching Barney sing "here we go looptie loo". Adoption isn't always fun and sweet and sappy, but it's always worth it...it's the heart of the Gospel.

Clarification

Some people have asked after my "rules" post if we want people at the airport or not and the answer is YES! We would prefer everyone come to the airport and see her live and in person and see us live on US soil and then just give us some time to adjust to home and family members. It's all part of the bonding and attachment advice we've been given from various resources. I was also mainly trying to be proactive with sensitivity to meeting her brothers for the first time at the airport and also regarding visitors at the house. It's not exactly like having a baby when there is an orphan involved that has never known family and attachment that comes naturally for a baby and will need time to understand that home is for family first. She also isn't very fond of strangers. She just needs some adjustment time and then we'll be fine! Thank you for understanding and we hope to see you Thursday!

Tea Time and Noodles

Noodles

Tea Time

What a difference a day makes!

And Baba has already made her a germaphobe!

Note: This video was sent on Saturday, February 4th.  Sorry it took longer to get it uploaded! 

The Other Woman

I've been happily married to Michele for almost 20 years. We have have 2 awesome boys and a German Shepherd. We love each other deeply. But I must confess, there is now another woman in my life. Sure, this "other woman" is only 29 months old and weights 22 lbs but man...I'm mesmerized with her.

Her name? Madison Jade. She burst on to the scene back in July of 2011. She lived in China and I in the United States. Though we were separated by vast ocean waters and thousands of miles, I was committed to make our relationship work. At times it felt like I was the only one making an effort to "keep the home fires burning" with my letters and packages I sent her but receiving nothing in return. However I was fully aware that her schedule was extremely demanding with her nap times and diaper changes so I waited patiently...praying for her...thinking about her...looking at her pictures...hoping of the day to see her in person.

Then one day it happened. I got an email from a mutual friend of mine and Madison's inviting me to come to China and meet her! I couldn't believe it! Sure I was a little disappointed Madison didn't personally invite me but I figured that "whole inability to write thing" made that impossible-heck I was just glad I was going to finally meet her!

After a few days of rest in China, our mutual friend scheduled "the big meeting day". This was it- the months of anticipation would soon come to fruition. 

Our meeting was downtown in a large office building. I hopped on the elevator and rode it to the 3rd floor where our friend had arranged the meeting. I was nervous. My heart palpitated. The palms of my hands were clammy.

The thought did occur; "what if I flew all this way and her feelings toward me are not the same as mine are towards her?" I took deep breaths. At any moment, I was going to meet "the other woman".

The doors of the meeting room flew open and there she was. The one I had so longed 
to meet...to embrace...to tell her, "I love you" was before my very eyes. I was emotional. In an instant, she had captured my heart. 

She was... how do I put this, not as impressed with me. But no matter. I had 2 weeks to win her over before returning state side. 

The first day or so was a little challenging. I was giving everything I had but was getting nowhere. But by day three, her heart began to melt. She begin to show life...emotion...joy.
I even made her laugh- that's when I knew I had her! 

Now, when I ask for a kiss, she puckers and plants a big one right on my cheek. We go for long rides in her stroller; although I do all the driving. We play funny games that make her smile and laugh from the bottom of her belly. We even have cute nicknames for each other- I call her "MJ" and she calls me "BaBa". You want to know the coolest thing? She has decided to come back home with me!

And who said long distant relationships don't work. 

Amazed...

I can't think of another word but amazed. I'm amazed by this precious little girl. I'm amazed that God would choose us to be her forever parents as unworthy as we are to receive such a blessing. I'm amazed at the miracle of adoption. I really have no more words to say. Except for the fact that I wish I could get an image to upload to this post so you could see another picture of this little girl I'm talking about in this post. Sorry for the torture. :) Thank you for all your prayers. We're close to coming home. We go back Monday to have the clinic read her TB test and we get her visa for travel on Wednesday and head to Hong Kong where we'll fly out to come home Thursday. We are to arrive Thursday 2/9 at 4:30 to BHM and you are welcome to come and see us, but we wanted to communicate a few things to you before this time...and please understand our heart and that we're not trying to be rude-we're just trying to protect the attachment and bonding of our family: 1. the airport will be the first time that her brothers get to meet her also so please let them come to us first to meet her...plus we haven't seen them for 2 weeks and have missed them!!! 2. she gets a bit freaked out when strangers get up in her face so it's fine to see her there, but please don't try to hold her this soon. There will be time for that when she gets more comfortable. 3. We will be lying low for a bit and getting her used to her new home and allowing her to properly bond and attach there as well as get over jet lag so that's why we won't be in attendance at all our normal things at first. After we feel she is adjusting well then we'll get her introduced little by little. Thanks for understanding. We know that everyone is excited to meet her and hold her and take pictures, but please try and think of things from her perspective and understand the unbelievable things she has gone through over the past couple of weeks...not to mention never having a family until now. We'd like for her to attach to all of us at home first before she gets indoctrinated into ALL of the craziness that is known as the Willis home! God bless all of you for the parts that you have and are playing in this chapter of our lives! We love you.

Today

We visited the orphanage where Madison spent the first 29 months of her life. Today was a hard day.


After four hours in a van, we arrived at the orphanage where we were greeted by the director and several of the nanny's who cared for MJ. As we walked through the gate towards the entrance, all of MJ's little buddies were peering through the 3rd floor railing waiting for her!
Everything went well until we entered the playroom. The caretakers asked if Madison could play for a few minutes with her old friends. Unfortunately when mom put MJ down, baby girl thought she was being returned...she didn't like that.

After a while she gained her composure and understood that Mom and Dad weren't going to leave her. She played for a while and had pictures made with her friends and nannys. As hard this was, it was very special to see just how much these people loved our MJ and how happy they were that she found her family.
Before we left, we were escorted to the place where our little daughter was found abandoned (picture attached) outside the orphanage at one of the side entrances. As you will notice, we had our picture made at this spot because years from now, when she asks questions about what happened, I can show a picture of where her story started.

Though the day was hard, I'm glad we lived it. I'm certain MJ doesn't grasp what happened today but it meant a great deal to us to hug the necks of the ladies who loved our child so well. I'm certain too there was a sense of satisfaction on the orphanages part to see the role they played in loving and preparing MJ for us.
After a quick lunch in a local noodle shop, we loaded up the van for the 4 hour return trip. Though MJ slept most of the way back (see attached photo of her sleeping) Michele and I had some time to love on her...play with her...even grieve a little for her. But one thing stood out- after a few minutes of fun time, it got quite for a moment. Then she placed her squeaky shoes in my lap, held Michele's hand, looked her in the eye, and with a smile for the ages, said, "Mommy".

Today...was a good day.

Tomorrow...

It's Thursday night ( I think) and I'm attempting to write a blog with my new daughter on my chest- (see attached photo) tough challlenge but someone has to do it!

This is day four with Madison and things have gone fairly well. She appears to be adjusting to life in the Willis home; bless her heart. However I must confess I write this tonight with some trepidation with what tomorrow may bring.
The morning starts early for us with a four hour ride to visit the orphanage where Madison was raised. One concern is how will our daughter respond when she returns to this familiar place? Michele and I are so fortunate that MJ spent the first 29 months of her life in a place where she was cared for and her needs were met. We are thankful to the ladies who loved her and prepared her to be accepted by her mom and dad. My worry is how can I ever appropriately express to these people how much they mean to us by loving our daughter? Few words will ever describe the depth of appreciation we feel to these people who took in our daughter when she was abandoned at 2 weeks old.
We were also told by our guide that tomorrow we will visit the place where MJ was found. Even as I type that statement a flood of emotions wash over my heart because I know this will be hard. We are not upset at MJ's birth parents for their decision to walk away from her. In fact, We are so thankful that in their difficult time, they made a good decision by leaving her where the orphanage would find MJ and take her in.
More often than not, most adoption stories have scary chapters. Abandonment, abuse, neglect. We were even asked by the probate officer yesterday, "Do you promise never to abandon or neglect this child?". While we responded whole heartedly in the affirmative, I understand why he has to ask that question...there are over 145 million orphan boys and girls in the world tonight who have no mommy or baba to read them a story about Jesus and pray over them.
Though MJ's story has a "scary" part, it by no means will define her. God has a impeccable record of working all things for His glory; including the abandonment and subsequent adoption of a little girl named Madison Jade. Yea...tomorrow may be emotional but I am confident God will graciously weave it into Madison's story. All of her days have been sovereignly plotted out by our Abba Father before one of them came to pass..even tomorrow.

Making Progress

Every day we make a little more progress. We are concerned about going back to the orphanage tomorrow as we're just now making strides. We are praying that it communicates to her that she now lives with us and won't be going back there after tomorrow. Yesterday she was lively at the police station playing with her baba and a balloon someone gave us just laughing and squealing with joy. It even sounded like at one point she said "my baba" and we started crying. We're not total sure, but Ernie claiming it! We cherish these moments as they're precious and few right now. I still can't get over how well she eats. Last night we went to a Mexican restaurant with 2 other adopting families and she ate rice and quesadilla like it was going out of style! We are amazed by what has transpired these last few days. We have these surreal moments and can't believe that we're finally with our precious daughter forever! We can't wait to get home...miss our boys so much and they want to meet her in person! We are very homesick, but we're halfway there! Please specifically pray for tomorrow's trip to the orphanage (4 hour drive one way) and her reaction to it and also pray even now for the 15 hour plane ride home and against any motion sickness for any of us! Thank you all!!!

Day After Gotcha Day

This will be short because we are exhausted, but I know people want updates. Her first night with us last night was tough. You guys know I'm honest and she cried and I cried and I wondered if I could do this at times, but God can do it through us!
She has taken to Ernie a lot more than me. She'll let me hold her while walking places and feed her, but she certainly likes him better. The girl can eat! I'm so glad she's a good eater. We still haven't branched out a ton in the food department, but she eats well.
Last night bath time was a disaster, but she had an accident in her big girl panties that she came in so she needed bathed. We were nervous tonight. She slept from 8 until 4 this morning then went back to sleep around 6 and sleep until 7:15 or so. 
We have had all our meetings with a couple from Houston and their 2 boys which are the exact same ages as our boys. Oh we wish they could have come because they're so similar...makes us miss home more. Anyway, we went to dinner with them tonight at an Irish place (yes, you read that right) so we could get some "normal" food as I call it. The girl they adopted is 19 months old and has been with a foster family and she is quite the spitfire! She has done really well with them. MJ still hadn't talked or shown hardly any emotion besides the crying the 1st night or the whimpers at nap time. She gives us mainly blank stares. 

Today she showed a tiny bit of her personality a couple of times. I decided to let her walk some this morning on the way to dinner rather than me carry her. We packed her backpack to show it was time to go from the room and she loved putting her things in there herself. When she walked she grabbed 1 of my fingers and held on the entire time. When we got off the elevator and had the large lobby she wanted to do the leading rather than walk beside. I felt like Angel taking me for a walk again! Anyway, also while we were walking back from dinner I was carrying her because the people drive like they do in Matamoras here and she was jabbering or I think at one point singing. I finally heard her voice!!! I almost started crying in the middle of the sidewalk. It was so precious. She also only whimpered a bit before bath in the sink and then she also let me lotion her u
And we brushed her teeth! She did great! Right now she is asleep on dad's chest...her favorite person and place. I'll live with that knowing that she'll take to me at some point. 
We think the breakthrough for bath was our strategy. We had brought this plastic play tea set and hadn't broken it out yet. We thought we'd get her playing with that first and she loved it! We knew she liked to carry a comfort item with her everywhere so she had a cup or 2. We then let her play with those in the sink while we bathed her. She whimpered a bit at 1st but then was fine! Worked like a charm!
We're so grateful that she's trusting us a little more each day. She's giving a little more insight little by little into who she is. I can't wIt until she really actually talks more, but baby steps! We love her so much and I can't describe to you just how incredibly beautiful she is. The locals even say it. Daddy better get the shotgun ready! I guess we'd have to own one 1st. Please continue to pray for bonding and seamless transitions with each step. Pray even now for the 15 hour flight home. Pray for her sweet heart to mend and open up to us more so we can see it. She is an incredibly brave little girl to have gone through all of this for the past 2 days and be doing this well. Each day gets better. Thanks for the support back home...it means the world to us. So grateful and overwhelmed with God's goodness!

Shock and Awe

The morning was spent pacing the floors, watching the clock slowly meander by... minute...by minute...by minute. For two years, Michele and I prayed for this day. This was the day the little treasure God had since long ago prepared for us would be embraced by her parents.

 

Every 15 minutes I kept asking the same question, "Is it time to leave yet?".

 

The time DID come. We met our guide at the entrance of our hotel where we were whisked away by van 20 minutes away to the government agency where our little one awaited her Mama and Baba. There was, for a time in the van, this akward silence where both Michele and I were in our own little worlds attempting to process what is about to happen. Turn by turn the anticipation grew. Suddenly, the van stopped and our guide smiled and sayed, "We're here!"

 

We walked 2 blocks to a building where our meeting was to take place. As we entered into the foyer, Michele and I noticed a number of little children and caretakers in the lobby. These were the little boys and girls that today their lives would changed-they would be placed with their Mamas and Babas. As we glanced through the crowd of caretakers and children, we saw her. The little girl known as Madison Jade "MJ" was in the arms of her caretaker entering the elevator. Though Michele and I were some distance away, we knew it was her. As beautiful as her pictures were, they could not compare to the sight we beheld.

 

As quickly as we saw her, she disappeared in the mass of other orphans heading in the elevators to meet their forever families. Michele and I looked at each other and few words could describe what we felt. I personally wanted to beat down the elevator and snatch my daughter and leave but I figured The People's Republic of China would not look kindly on such behavior.

 

After a minute or so, we entered to elevators where we rode several floors up to "The Gathering Room". This Gathering Room was a large open area where a number of families had gathered for the same purpose we had. One by one, a representative would find a family and say, "your child is ready" and there in the midst of complete strangers, lives were being changed forever. 

 

Michele and I waited. And, after two years, we had become pretty good at that. And then, with another large grin, our representative came to us and said, "Come! Come! Your daughter is ready!" A flood of emotions overwhelmed me. I tried to prepare the camera for the once in a lifetime money shot but, between wiping my tears and keeping my wailing at bay, it would prove to be an impossible task. I placed the camera in my pocket and then I heard it...the sound...the sound of sqeaky shoes. Our MJ came walking out to meet us with pink squeaky shoes!

 

There was no great fanfair. She didn't come running to us smiling and saying, "Mama and Baba!". It was a simple little orphan girl, who at two weeks old was abandoned and today was being reclaimed. She went to Michele. She hopped in Mom's arms where she wore the look of "shock and awe".

 

I know she doesn't understand today. It may take a number of years for her to truly grasp the depth of today. But I believe the day she comes to love Jesus, it may become a little clearer for her.

 

Christ's love compels us.

 

After bath, MJ falls asleep in mommy's arms while Baba reads her first story.

4AM Gotcha Day

I woke up at 4:00 AM and couldn't sleep (although we crashed pretty early last night as I wasn't feeling well) because it's less than 10 hours until we meet our daughter for the first time.  So what do I do? Write a blog post!  I want to remember every emotion and thought that I'm feeling right now one day as a testimony to God's faithfulness.

 

Yesterday we had a meeting with one of our guides and another adopting family to go through the agenda day by day and paperwork needed at each thing, etc.  I have to say that we left there very overwhelmed.  All of that information was handed to us already typed up on paper when we got off the plane, but to go through it piece by piece is very overwhelming.  We had the "deer in the headlight" look I'm sure...so did the other couple so luckily we're not alone!

 

This morning as I think about what today holds it is very easy to get anxious and scared.  I can't say that I'm not a little of that, but as I've prayed these past few minutes God has given me His peace...the peace that passes all understanding.  I truly don't understand, but I'm grateful for it.  We were prepared yesterday for the fact that we don't know what state she will be in when she's given to us and there is really no way to be totally prepared. This is an out of control moment for us...which isn't natural for us control freaks, but if there is anything that we've learned in ALL we've gone through for the past 2 years it has been that these can be the most peaceful because we are forced to rest in Christ and the truth that we DO know.

 

We know that His grace is sufficient...for EVERYTHING.  We know that He is faithful to complete the good work He started in us.  We know that He is our source of strength and supply.  We know that He is our creator and knows us better than anyone.  He knows what we need before we do.  He knows exactly what we'll experience this afternoon when we are handed our precious Madison Jade and He will be sufficient.  What a joy and peace to know these things!!!  What a privilege it is to rest in these truths as we face the unknown...not the fear of the unknown, but with God's strength which is made perfect in our weakness...and boy are weak at this moment.  We've cried at just about everything since we've been here which isn't normal for either of us!

 

Do I still creep back into some human flesh type of moments? Yes, but His kindness leads me to repentance and we walk in bold blind faith with what He has called us to do as we have seemed to do for the entire past 2 years of our lives. We're so unworthy to be called to these things, but Christ makes us worthy...it's only through Him that we're able to do this...or ANYTHING!!  And as Pastor David Platt said a couple of month ago when he was in this exact same place we are today at The Garden Hotel, "We adopt not so that we can rescue, but because we are the rescued".

 

Thank You, Father, for this incredible gift of adoption and for all the many emotions and thoughts swirling through us right now. Thank You for Your perfect peace and strength to walk the steps we will walk later today. Amen

A Few Words from Baba (Ernie)...

So Michele and I are in to our 2nd full day here in China. As I type, it is mid-morning Sunday and we just finished breakfast. We both are doing well, though that whole jet lag thing hits mid afternoon.

 

Michele and I met a couple from Pennsylvania yesterday who has just adopted their daughter from China. She is an adorable 3 1/2  year old little girl who has a beautiful personality and a magnetic smile! She has bonded well with her family.

 

We have wondered how MJ will take to us. There is always a fear that, though you have prayed for this little person for years, she will freak out when she is handed to us.

 

MJ's caretakers have been refering to Michele and I as, "Mama and Baba". She has seen our pictures, she has recieved our gifts, yet there is still a part of us that wonders how she will do tomorrow.

 

I watched the couple from Pennsylvania and their daughter and I am in awe of how she adores her new "Mama and Baba". Even this morning while getting ready my mind was already fixed for what lies ahead tomorrow for Michele and I and our little girl. And with that, I was compelled by the picture that Romans 8:15 paints-

 

 So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father"

 

The Bible paints a dim view of man apart from grace and redemption. Without it, I am a lost pitiful orphan that stands as the object of God's wrath (Eph.2:3). Yet, as desperate and dead as I was, God the Father made me alive with Christ. Where I once stood opposed to the friendship and forgiveness of my heavenly Father, now I am embraced by His favor. Where I once was in bondage to fear, failure, and sin, now I am accepted by God through His Son's work on the cross. Through this work, I have been chosed by God to be His son. He has extended to me all the benefit of being His child because He has adopted me. No work or reward would ever merit such favor yet, just as I was, He did not leave me Fatherless-He came to me. And now, I can approach His lap with confidence to recieve mercy and grace in my time of need...because I am His adopted son!

 

I love it when my two boys call me "dad". There is something special when they crawl up into my lap, look into my eyes, smile and say, "Daddy!" It makes my heart feel "fuzzy"! The power behind having children that love their dad enough that they would call his name in the most intimate manner is special...indescribable...powerful. And how infinantly more does our Heavenly Father welcome us to whisper His name, "Abba Daddy". Take some time today, approach Him with confidence and call Him "Dad"...He loves that!

 

And who knows, by God's grace, tomorrow I'll have a little girl hop into my arms and whisper, "Baba!".