Peace for 2016...

PEACE...that's the word that the Lord gave me for this New Year. For several years, I've prayed for the Lord to give me a word to focus on for the year. I have found that it is usually something that needs some change in my life.

One of the meanings of PEACE is freedom from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; tranquility, serenity. Another is a state of mutual harmony between people or groups. You're probably asking (I am as well) how does a mother of 3 (ages 13, 10 & 6) who runs a business from home, is a pastor's wife, and takes care of her mother with dementia achieve peace in 2016?

Let's start with what we know. I know from Romans 5:1 that because my faith has justified me it causes me to have PEACE with God through Jesus Christ. I know that one of the names of Jesus is the Prince of PEACE. Romans 12 and 14 both speak about living at PEACE with others. I Corinthians 14:33 says that God isn't a god of disorder but of PEACE. Galatians 5 tells us that one of the fruits of the spirit is PEACE. Philippians 4 says that we should be anxious for nothing, but in prayer to make our requests made known to God, and then the PEACE of God (which transcends all understanding) will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. These references are just the tip of the iceberg.

Here's something else I know...PEACE only comes through Christ. That is the source. I can't obtain PEACE on my own power.

So here's the plan...I'm first praying for PEACE in my life. I'm asking the Prince of PEACE - the only source for PEACE that I know - to grant me PEACE and to help me to look for ways to be a PEACE maker and finder throughout each day. Next, I'm going to continue to learn more about PEACE. I'm going to study God's Word more because I have this "hunch" that as I get closer to the Source and Prince of PEACE, that I will find more PEACE in my life and family.

It's that simple. I don't believe it's rocket science. I think that we take God at His Word...ask Him and seek Him. Am I missing something? How do you think that you achieve PEACE in 2016?

An Open Letter to a Chinese Birth Mother (on sanctity of life Sunday)...

I know we have never met, but I feel like I know you. I have prayed for you more times than I could count without knowing your name or what you look like. I imagine that you are beautiful because my daughter is. 

You see, a little over 4 years ago you made a choice. You chose life. And for that we are incredibly grateful. Grateful doesn't even describe how we feel, but that is the best word I can come up with to try to come close. I can't imagine how you felt that day or what was going through your mind. I imagine you were scared or felt alone...or maybe you were alone. You might still be alone. I think you were very courageous to choose life and to choose to leave your precious daughter at an orphanage gate so she would be found, cared for and safe. 

I can't lie and say that I understand why you did that to your infant, but it's not for me to understand. I believe it was part of God's story He was writing for my family which was incomplete. I pray that it is part of your story too...a story that one day leads you to Jesus. He's the only one who can complete you and love you unconditionally. He gave his life for you and the precious baby girl you left that day. 

It's my job now to take care of her and tell her about her Heavenly Father who loved her so much that he died for her. I have had that role with her now almost 2 glorious years. She is vibrant and full of life. She has a vivid imagination and says some hilarious things daily. She loves her big brothers and they love her. I think you would want to know that she's very smart. 

We tell her about her story and how God put us all together. Don't worry...we would never say anything negative about you to her for you chose life. Thank you for doing that because we now are a family of 5 because of that brave choice. We are eternally grateful for our daughter and the miracle of adoption which we wouldn't have experienced without your choice of life. 

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We will always pray for you and think of you with gratefulness. 

- the Willis family (Ernie, Michele, Jackson, Carson and Madison Jade)

It's not about me...

The first line in Rick Warren's book "The Purpose Driven Life" is..."it's not about you."  I've read that book, I grew up in church, I went to Christian school, I went to Bible college, I'm married to a Pastor/Church planter, yada yada yada...who cares? I have SOOOOOOO much to learn about it not being about me. I've dealt with pride in the past and it's not a fun lesson to learn.  What I'm learning right now is that line from that book doesn't always mean you're prideful.  It can mean you're selfish (which can be rooted in pride obviously).

If there is anything that I learned when I had my first child...it's that I'm selfish.  Then I regressed and forgot that little nugget.  I had a 2nd child and was reminded that I'm selfish.  Time went on and I moved on from changing that behavior.  We started going through the adoption process and information and learned before we travelled that we needed to think about things from her perspective.  It helps you to understand why she might react or act out in a certain way.  If I'm anything...I'm honest...and to be honest with you...that  part is somewhat easy when you're in her country.  It's easy to think of things from her perspective...you're somewhat living in it still.  It's even easy to do that the first week or so when you're home, but as you get comfy in your own home and try and get back into your routine...you can easily forget it.  Especially when you're selfish like me.

I have learned a lot about many things through being a parent...and now a parent of an adopted child, but nothing as blatantly obvious to me as (once again) that I'm selfish.  Hard headed much? I get so frustrated with myself that I can't seem to get this life lesson...it's not about me...it's not even about my children or my husband, but it's about Jesus!  I want to complain about how much life I've "given up" for my kids...or to plant a church...or WHATEVER.

I believe that the enemy likes to plant those little things in our heads to get us focused on ourselves rather than what's important and what God has called us to do.  It's a battle of the mind for me so I know I need to keep my mind on Christ and His calling.  I know a lot of things don't make sense to most people out there, but God called us to plant a church, He called us to adopt knowing we wouldn't have 1 income for 6 months in the middle of that and He called me to leave a great job with great people that I loved to stay home with these children.  If that's crazy then I guess you're reading a blog of a crazy person (you can see below that our newest addition fits in well).

I came across these verses yesterday in my devotions (and I love it in the NLT version):
2 Corinthians 5:13 If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit. 14 Either way, Christ's love controls us. Since we believe that christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life.

I pray that we're bringing glory to God through everything. I pray that it benefits others because Christ's love controls us...crazy or not! So I renounce for GOOD my selfishness and move toward service...Christ first, then family and then others so this family of 5 can make a difference!

The Ups and Downs of Adoption...

We have been home a little over a week and there have been ups and downs to be honest...but isn't it that way with most things? We have had great moments where she has loved on us and hugged and kissed and copied words we've said. We've had moments at the park with her big brothers where she has had sheer joy going down slides with them. Then we've had whining, fits, crying, grieving and lack of sleep. But the good certainly outweighs the bad! What a precious child she is. We have gotten to see her little personality come out more and more each day. Remember how concerned I was about her file saying how quiet she was and how she didn't like loud noises and we had loud noisy boys? Ha! That is funny!!!!! She is louder than them! She loves playing with them and being noisy with them. I think she can hold her own against her big brothers...not worried at all! It also said she had a temper...now that part couldn't be closer to the truth! We have seen that...or the terrible 2's (not sure which) plenty of times. It is quite a sight to behold...can put this red head's fits to shame I hate to say! I worry about everything now though. This is one of the ugly truths about me. I have worried about my job as a parent with my boys of course, but not as much as I do with her. I know this is bad so please don't preach at me in your comment. :) Your encouragement would be appreciated though. LOL. See...I'm an adoption newbie. I don't have a clue what I'm doing. My poor husband and also my friend who has also adopted...I KNOW I have to be driving them crazy! They have talked me off the ledge so many times this past week. Ugh! I really am trying to take a step back and calm down and take a deep breath and let God do what only He can do, but that is so easy to say and not to do. I really am like this with most major things, but it has just gone into hyper mode since we have been home. My precious hubby reminded me I've never been home full time with a 2 year old though. I had forgotten that. I've always been working and they were in day care at 2. This makes me sad, but I know that i was where God put me at the time. Now God has put me at home. I love it...don't get me wrong, but it's an adjustment. And add a 2 year old that doesn't know me and I don't know her and we can't communicate with each other very well and that makes it even more of an adjustment! I know that my God who called us to this is faithful though. I am encouraged by this fact. I know that things will get better and communication will improve eventually and it will seem like she has been with us her whole life at some point in time. Until then I will trust...my faith will be increased and my trust will be stretched and I will see God's sovereignty more than I ever have. I have to...this is my only hope to not mess up all things parental that have been entrusted to unworthy me. Keep praying for us as parents and for our 3 kids...and mostly that we make much of Jesus in all we do.

Confession...

I know this won't come as a shock to most of you, but I'm a stinkin' (as we say in the south), rotten, filthy sinner! Seriously, I had some quiet time with God recently and asked Him to reveal anything that might be hindering my walk with Him or the ministry that He has called us to most recently. Well, you know that the Lord say to ask and we'll receive? A lot of times people only want to use that when they're talking about getting things they want in a more material way, but He uses that also for the not so pleasant! He revealed to me my selfishness! Again, I'm sure this isn't a shock to most of you, but I can be so selfish most of the time.

Since we've been on this adoption journey God has been teaching me about my lack of faith and that manifests itself through selfishness. I realized this in my quiet time the other morning and I tweeted right after that, "self pity is a form of selfishness that clouds judgment which keeps us from seeing the needs of others to serve them in the name of Jesus". That is what the Lord revealed to me in His kindness. I'm so thankful that it's His kindness that leads us to repentance, aren't you?

Ok, to bring it full circle for all of you who are confused...I've been so consumed by our needs financially to finish this adoption and asking everyone to pray that I have missed so many opportunities to serve others. God, help me and my unbelief! I'm obviously still learning these lessons, but glad that He has shown me this! You can't deal with what you don't know, can you? Conviction isn't fun, but it's necessary for maturity.

The song,"My Own Little World", by Matthew West describes me to a tee:

In my own little world it hardly ever rains

I've never gone hungry and always felt safe

I got some money in my pocket shoes on my feet

In my own little world

Population me

I try to stay awake through the Sunday morning church

I throw a twenty in the plate but I never give 'til it hurts

and I turn off the news when I don't like what I see

it's easy to do when it's

population me

What if there's a bigger picture

what if I'm missing out

What if there's a greater purpose

I could be living right now

outside my own little world

Stopped at the red light, looked out my window

Outside the car, saw a sign, said "Help this homeless widow"

Just above this sign was the face of a human

I thought to myself, "God, what have I been doing?"

So I rolled down my window and I looked her in the eye

Oh how many times have I just passed her by

I gave her some money then I drove on through

in my own little world there's

Population two

What if there's a bigger picture

what if I'm missing out

What if there's a greater purpose

I could be living right now

outside my own little world

Start breaking my heart for what breaks Yours

give me open hands and open doors

put Your light in my eyes and let me see

that my own little world is not about me

I don't want to miss out on God's bigger picture while in my own little world worrying about stuff that God already is handling.  What is God teaching you right now?

Life is Fast, Adoption is Slow

Life has been flying by at a very fast pace while we have been waiting on our LOA (letter of approval) since mid-July. The boys have both been playing football, I've been recovering from shoulder surgery slowly and painfully and Ernie has been working at a full time new job while still leading our church plant. The Lord has been using these times to increase our patience and our faith...tough lessons!

Friday we received a letter turning us down for a grant for which we had applied. We were disappointed and sad and trying to figure out why. In God's perfect timing and kindness, the next morning was Lifeline's seminar Adopt Without Debt. I learned so many things, but I mainly took away that I don't need a grant to carry out God's calling for our family. I shouldn't have been relying on the grant in the first place. I should be relying completely on God. He's the one that supplies for the grants anyway!! He supplied the money so far even with 6 months of Ernie not having an income. That's incredible to think about! How could I forget these things?

That wasn't the only blessing the kindness of the Lord gave me. I ended up meeting a couple there that also is adopting from Maoming and he was the photographer on the trip in July! He had over 100 pictures of our Madison Jade!! She was absolutely gorgeous in every single one of course!!

In conclusion, I can't do a post on 9/11 without remembering what happened 10 years ago. I'm so grateful for the men and women who sacrificially fight for freedom. I was pregnant and scared watching everything unfold 10 years ago. Then 6 months later I was 2 weeks from delivering my 1st child and burying my dad. A lot has happened in 10 years, but we will never forget.

Please continue to pray for our family...including the one that is in another country. Also pray for God to provide for the remaining in-country and travel expenses we have (about $12,000 more), my recovery and our church plant! Be on the lookout for fundraisers that we'll invite you to take part! We're excited to see how God will provide beyond our wildest imagination!

The Truth About Adoption

Yesterday afternoon I received a phone call from my hubby saying that he had just gotten the mail and guess what was in it...i800A approval letter!!! That was the last thing needed on the US side to be ready to send our dossier to China for approval! That happened so much quicker than we expected so our heads are spinning now trying to get the last few minor things done that will go in our final dossier (all because I didn't heed my friend's advice last week about not waiting until the last minute because her approval came in faster than expected too, etc. I always have to learn the hard way I guess.

Basically, once our dossier is sent to China and they approve it then we can be matched with our daughter and await travel approval. I can't believe we're this close!!!!!! I realize that this process can take months, but to be at this point will really get you to thinking...and sometimes with the way my brain works that's not always the best thing. I have a tendency to over-think and analyze things too much to the point of factoring out God and that turns to worry and anxiety...just keeping it real, folks.

Philippians 4:6 says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." I know the Bible says this...I grew up in church and Sunday school and VBS, but I find myself not living it out. I will go with gut instinct rather than God's instinct by praying about things first.

Obviously we didn't enter into adoption without a lot of prayer, but that was a major decision. Do I trust God with the little things too? Even the little details regarding this adoption? My mind wanders into the following thoughts:
What if she doesn't like us?
What if the boys don't adjust well to another sibling?
What does she look like?
Will we be able to handle whatever her special need is?
This is going to be one of the hardest things our family has done.
What if we don't handle it well?
I don't know how to be a "girl mom"!
There's nothing pink in the house...I don't know how to put bows in hair!
How will I be able to bond properly and yet not neglect my other kids?
What if we can't raise the remaining $20,000?
How can I afford to buy a bunch of girl clothing and bedding on top of raising adoption money?

I know I shouldn't worry about these things. Some of these things I probably shouldn't even think...but I do. Don't get me wrong...I'm beyond excited about having a daughter, bringing her into our home, loving her as if I birthed her myself and introducing her to Jesus...but let's be honest - adoption is also scary.

I've learned something in life though...when you get scared you can't concentrate on the scary part. You focus on the end result and why you're doing that scary thing and you just put one foot in front of the other and continue doing the right thing and eventually you'll be through it.

I know that God has called us to this. He showed us in so many ways and sent so many confirmations! Even something as simple as Carson's baseball coach being around the same stage of adoption FROM CHINA as we are! These things don't just happen by coincidence...God orchestrates them. He orchestrated us to become friends with the Ferrill family that have walked this road before us. He orchestrated us to read one of the most incredible books on adoption ever written that changed our lives (thank you Dr. Moore...I hope to meet you one day)! He orchestrated us years ago to work in orphanages all across Matamoras, Mexico to get us thinking about adoption in the first place.

So who am I to ask all those questions above? I just need to trust and obey...easier said than done for me, and sometimes one is easier than the other, but I'm trying to learn. I'm passionate about changing the statistic of 147 million orphans in the world because I believe James 1:27. I hope to make at least a portion of the impact people like the Ferrills, David Platt, Russell Moore and Steven Curtis Chapman have made in the world of adoption and orphan care. In the meantime, I'm just taking one step at a time.

Do you have trouble trusting and obeying?

Is it Just Me?

Sometimes I think that I am the only one going through stuff or that's just downright crazy and ask the question, "is it just me?"  God has this awesome and precious way of reminding me in different ways that the world doesn't revolve around me so I'm not the only person going through hard times or times of complete chaos.  For that I am grateful...it's His kindness that leads us to repentence, right?

God has done this just recently through this adoption process.  We have some awesome friends who are experts at this adoption thing since they've gone through it 3 times before and going through it again.  We have an awesome adoption agency as well that helps us through this process.  But recently it seems like the Lord has brought more adoption friends into our lives...and we continue to learn more and different things from each of them.  I'm so humbled and overwhelmed that the Lord knows exactly what we need and provides for those needs right then.

So why do I doubt Him?  I still continue to doubt and I don't act in enough faith...I don't understand myself sometimes.  Is it just me? :-)

That's all I really had for now.  Those are the current thoughts rolling in my head.  Just a quick adoption update...our home study is done and sent off and our i800A has been approved by homeland security.  Now we just wait for Immigration to tell us when we can go get our fingerprints done again.  We haven't gotten that appointment yet, but once that's done it's Dossier to China time!!!  That will put us close to being matched with our precious daughter so she can finally meet her crazed forever family!  Start praying for her now! LOL

Please continue to pray for us as we need lots more financially to make this happen.  This is where my doubt seems to creep in the easiest.  It seems impossible to me, but my Bible tells me that what seems impossible for man to achieve is possible with God!  I'm clinging to that minute by minute.  Right now you can be used of God to help us achieve these financial goals by either buying coffee at our "storefront" or you can book a Premier Jewelry show with me for a fun girls night out...most imporrtantly you can pray that the Lord will continue to bring in the funds however He sees fit.  Blessings!!!

Don't say those bad words!

I know...it's been forever since I blogged.  I've had plenty of posts swirling in my head, but never posted for some reason or another...I doubt this one will be worth the wait (that is very vain of me - and actually humorous - to think that I actually have people that are sitting around waiting for me to write a blog post, but confession and transparency are good I suppose).

Anyhoo...we have words that are considered "bad words" at our house.  For instance, we're not supposed to say "shutup" or "stupid", etc.  Well, I have my own "bad words", but it's probably not what you're thinking.  The words "patience" and "wait" or "waiting" have become bad words to me.  Quite frankly, I've never been known as a patient person so I guess this isn't anything new, but at the place that our family is in our lives I guess it's just taking on new meaning.

The adoption journey is a lot of waiting.  I knew that going into this process, but it's a whole different thing actually going through it and I'm simply not good at it.  We've also been waiting to actually launch a new church, we've been waiting on a job for Ernie...waiting, waiting, waiting.  You would think with all this waiting that I'd get better at it as I go along, wouldn't you?  I mean, I'm usually a fairly quick learner...well, not with life lessons or spiritual lessons...usually God has to hit me over the head with a 2 x 4 before it somewhat starts to sink in.  It's taken me this long to realize that God is trying to teach me patience.  Duh!

Continuing to be completely honest...I dislike this lesson immensely.  Sure, I know Psalm 46:10 tells me to "be still and know that I am God", but it's easier said than done...or it's also easier read than done.  Do you know that's not all of the verse?  The entire verse is: He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  For me, that helps the waiting make more sense.  Maybe God wants me to wait because He will get more glory in and through the waiting and with the final result.  I don't know if it makes it easier, but it makes more sense knowing the last part of the verse.

I know that God's timing is perfect; there is nothing lost in His economy and all the other Christian cliches or Sunday School answers...they're easy to see in someone else's life and even tell them that.  But if I really believe those statements and that verse, then I need to live it in my own life (maybe I need to re-read about getting the plank out of my own eye before pointing it out in someone else's - Matthew 7).  I actually had the audacity to tell my precious Godly husband to quit praying for patience for us through all of these things because it will cause us to wait longer.  What that says about me is that I'd rather not trust in God's timing and I'd rather not learn the lessons that the Lord has for me throughout this process...I'd rather not just sit on the bench staring at the cross like my oldest son in the picture above and know that He is God and wants - and DESERVES - to be exalted!!  It also says that I'm scared to wait.  You see, if I wait then I might learn some things about myself that I would rather be blissfully ignorant.  YUCK!  How messed up is that?

During this point in our lives of hurry up and wait, I'm truly trying to embrace the words "wait" and "patience" rather than think of them as bad words.  I'm trying to see the positive things that happen along the way and also the positives that will come in the future from waiting and being still right now.  I know it's already increasing our faith and I'm so grateful!  I need a lot of faith when we need about $19,000 more for the adoption!  Which reminds me...here's a way you can help with that (how's that for a transition?): order coffee for yourself or for gifts here: http://www.justlovecoffee.com/TheWillisHome and they'll send us a check for each coffee sale made!  Thank you!!!

Have you learned this lesson?  Do you find it hard to wait?  Is God trying to teach you patience or increase your faith?

All Things Are Possible...Really?

Matthew 19:26  Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

I've been thinking about this verse a lot lately.  This verse is in context of salvation.  Jesus was asked by the rich man how a person was saved.  When Jesus told him to sell all his possessions and follow Christ, the man walked away sad because he was rich and he apparently didn't want to part with his wealth.  The disciples continued the conversation with Jesus and were "astonished" and in verse 25 asked how anyone could be saved.  That was His answer.

I've been reading a book called "The Christian Atheist" by Craig Groeschel.  The title of the book sounds strange at first, but the subtitle explains the premise of the book: believing in God but living as if He doesn't exist.  Wow...how many times have I done that?...just in the past week?

I remember thinking about similar things when I went through the Bible study by Beth Moore called "Believing God".  There are 5 statements of faith that you say with her EVERY week on the video:
1.  God is Who He says He is
2.  God can do what He says He can do
3.  I am who God says I am
4.  I can do all things through Christ
5.  God's Word is alive and active in me
I'm believing God!

I've thought about all of these things so much lately because in my flesh I sometimes get overwhelmed with life.  Right at this very moment here's a snapshot of my world: wife, mom of 2 boys, daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, friend, full time VP of Marketing and Business Development, part time Premier Jewelry Lady, trying to adopt from China (which includes raising a LOT of money), hubby and I trying to plant a church by Easter...sometimes I think, seriously God?  I have literally been in the car and yelled out, "I CAN'T DO THIS LORD!!!" 

Then the Lord speaks in His still small voice (which, if I'm honest, I sometimes don't like hearing because it's not what I want to hear), "with God all things are possible".  This morning I sang that song by Hillsong, "All Things Are Possible" and even as I type, there is a song playing that asks a haunting question, "Do I believe that You're my God?...that You're all I need; that You're all I need?"  Do I?  Do I believe in God, but merely live my life as if He doesn't really exist and that He really can't do ALL that He says He can do?  Frankly, yes, sometimes I do...confession time.

God is the God of the impossible...I HAVE to believe that and live like it to get through that never ending list up there.  Praise God that I don't have to do it...I CAN'T do it on my own.  I don't possess the capabilities...neither does my hubby no matter how awesome and Godly he is...BUT GOD!!!!!!!!  Those are the two most awesome words to me these days...but God CAN do all of those things...and God help me if I try to do it on my own or try to get in His way!  That list now changes to I am a daughter of the King, joint heir with Jesus, loved by the Most High God, a life redeemed from the pit, clothed in the righteousness of Christ, receive new mercies EVERY morning and more than a conqueror through Christ!!

With God ALL things are possible...He can do what He says He can do...Do you believe that?  Do you believe that, but live as if it's not really true?  Lord, help my unbelief!

Just Because...

It's not our anniversary, it's not his birthday and it's not Father's day, but I want to brag on my hubby just because.  Mainly...because he deserves it!

I truly am so blessed.  We have been married for a little over 18 years and dated 4 years before that so we've been together over half my life.  He has stuck with me through thick and thin...when he said "for better or for worse" he probably didn't realize what he was saying at the time.  There has been better, worse and everything in between, but I can honestly say that we are in the best place we have ever been in our marriage.

We have recently been through some pretty tough life changing things but he has been a rock the whole time.  He really has...I'm not just saying that!  When my red hair started flaring he said, "God is our defender...let's just pray about it".  Seriously?  I get the praying part, but why not defend ourselves?  God gave us a mouth and opinions...speak them!  Nope, not my hubs...and you know what?  I'm SO glad he's like that because I'm SO not that way!!! (Those of you that know me well can quit saying "amen" now.)  He really does even me out and make me a better person than I am!!  Honestly...he made me laugh at things by the time we finished talking about them.  I love the fact that he can make me laugh when no one else can!!

Now, he will be the first person to say that is because of Christ in him and it's Christ that makes him love me well...and also Christ that makes me a better person and not him.  I get that, but he has to allow Christ to do that and he does!!!!  I'm so thankful for that.

He has been such an example of Christ to me for 22 years...but especially over the past 9 months.  I'm grateful that God put him in my life and that God gave him such patience to put up with me!!!  I don't want to take that for granted so I didn't wait for a special occasion...I did this just because.  I love you, Ernie Willis!!!

The story that must be told...

The choir and praise team at church were given a new cd to learn our new music several months back. There is a song on there that I LOVE (of course it's Hillsong United so of course I LOVE it) called "Break the Silence" and the words have haunted me since the first time I heard it. We went through it in choir practice the other night and there they were again...

To the far ends of earth we go

Love's story must be told

We can not live in comfort anymore

I hope that bothers you as much as it bothers me...or maybe I don't hope that...I'd rather hope that it's true in life and not hard for you to sing. For me, it's very hard to sing.

I brought this up to our Minister of Worship last week. I don't believe in singing songs/lyrics mindlessly - you can't communicate authentically that way leading in worship. Is it true that I'm willing to give up my comfort to tell others about Christ? Is it true that I'm so compelled by the Gospel of Christ and telling others that are lost and hopeless about Him that I don't want to be comfortable until they've heard? I would love to say a resounding "yes!" to all of that, but if I'm honest with myself (which is usually the hardest person to be honest with...have you noticed?) then my answer is quite the contrary. I clearly have a lot of work to do in my walk with Christ. I like my comfort...I like my home and family the way it is...my routine...my coffee in the morning (EVERY morning)...church on Sundays the way I like it but ONLY on my terms...face it - life is comfortable...maybe TOO comfortable.

Please don't think that I'm saying that to be a true Christian you must live in poverty on the streets or something. If you think that then you're missing what I'm saying. I'm afraid that we've all gotten a little too comfortable with our Christian walk and church especially. Are we willing to sacrifice sleep to hit our knees more for that unsaved loved one...or spend more time in His Word? Are we willing to go the extra mile to serve someone without anyone knowing? Do we desire to support missions so much that we'll give up eating out or Starbucks a few times so that we can send money to someone giving their life to tell others about Christ? I'm speaking to myself more than anyone...I am the chief of sinners. I'm challenged to live better...more like Christ in these aspects...think about what I'm doing or not doing more...I hope you are as well.

The Journey Continues...


So many people keep asking about how the adoption is going so that is the reason for this post. Unfortunately, there isn't much to tell which is why we were hesitant to let the cat out of the bag this early that we were adopting. We knew people would be asking and there wouldn't be much to tell at the beginning as paperwork is being done, background checks happen, doctor appointments and lab work, gathering our birth certficates from the state, getting a copy of our marriage certificate, etc. It takes a while for all of that to happen. We decided to tell everyone because we knew that we needed much prayer during all of this and we were going to have to raise a good bit of money and people could pray for that!



Most people that know me know that Journey is probably one of my most favorite bands of all time (secular). I love the music, I loved Steve Perry's voice, I love their overall sound and live shows...but I also love their name - journey. That's what we're all on in life no matter where we are in the process. I'm on a larger overall journey, but this adoption is a journey as well.


This part of the journey is info gathering and fundraising. I have to admit that's not my favorite part of the process, but I know that the end result will be worth it...just like any journey and even if we don't see it while we go through it.


So...with all that being said...people have also asked if they could help in any way. Obviously, we have to do the info gathering part, but YES, YOU CAN HELP WITH FUNDRAISING! I know you're so excited about that!!! :-) Seriously, Ernie is selling his homemade salsa and we're taking orders for pint jars at $6 a piece. Let me know if you want to order any...it's fabulous! He's only making the medium (lukewarm) flavor this time.


Also, I've invested in a side business to raise money for this adoption and selling Premier Designs Jewelry. I also love that they started 25 years ago as a way to fund missions...so how appropriate for that to be a way to fund this journey!!!!!! Anyway, if you would like to host a party for me please let me know! You can earn free jewelry (what could be better than that?) being a hostess and I make sure we have a lot of fun!!! It's not a huge commitment for you to do this and it's really not money out of your pocket as a hostess, but it helps me a TON!


We will also be having some other fundraisers along the way that I'll let you know about as they come closer. We know that God has called us to this so He will provide in ways that we can't even imagine so we are at total peace!!! Thank you mostly for your prayers during the journey. We can't express how much this means to us. May God bless you!!!

Paperwork...

I guess that's going to be the theme for our family for a while because we're beginning the process of adoption from Mexico! We've decided to go with Gladney based out of Fort Worth, TX because they have an established program in Mexico.

Above is a picture of Javier and Alma Ortiz. Javier is a pastor in Matamoros and one of the first people we worked with there. I guess you can say that's somewhat where it started so we've requested a child from the state of Tamaulipas where Matamoros is where we've done mission work for the past decade. We've requested a girl, but we've also told them that we're open to what the Lord wants. They've told us that we could be matched with a child as early as 4 months!! Mexico no longer allows children under the age of 5 to be adopted unless they're special needs which we're not ruling out either. If God calls us then we'll do it and trust Him.

We're excited and scared all at the same time, but know that the what the Lord has called us to do He will equip us to do. We're following our calling from James 1:27 and know that our Lord is faithful, gracious and will provide our every need.

Speaking of needs, our most immediate one will be funds as this will be expensive. In our human minds it looks impossible, but we know that NOTHING is impossible with God (Jeremiah 32:27)!!! You can help by praying, ordering salsa from Ernie as he'll be doing that as a fundraiser or by booking a Premier Jewelry party with me! God led me to that as a way to help in funding this adoption. God has already blessed in that area and Ernie will be getting the blender of salsa going soon so we're doing our part. Our children will be choosing things from their rooms as well to sell in a yard sale coming soon so that they can have a part as well. They will also probably do some lemonade stands and bake sales as well. We'll keep you posted and appreciate your prayers more than anything.

So there's our update! Thank you for sharing in our journey!!

20 months...


What do I mean by that title? What's behind 20 months?...you might be asking (unless you're Rhonda or Ernie). Well, there is a lot behind that time frame...mainly our house.

Our house will have been on the market 20 months the first week of March. Many of you just gasped at that and that's ok...some days I feel like that too. But 20 months represents so much more than just that - let me explain.

First and foremost, 20 months represents faithfulness by our Lord. You probably think I'm out of my mind by saying that, but it's true. God has faithfully provided for our needs every month, every week and every day of every week and month! His provision has been incredible as we have a roof over our head in a safe neighborhood with wonderful schools and 5 minutes from my office. He has provided jobs for Ernie and I that pay for groceries, mortgage, our vehicles and so much more than we really need. God has been faithful to continue to provide people to come and look at our house even if they're not buying it right now. It only takes one showing...one person or one family and one day that person or family will come along - I believe that.

Also, 20 months represents learning. God has taught us so much about prayer, believing that God is Who He says He is (no matter what happens or doesn't happen), beliving that God will do what He says He will do (no matter what happens or doesn't happen), beliving that God's Word is alive and active in us, believing God (can you tell I've listened to Beth Moore?), each other and faith in general. We have also learned that this is a really trivial thing in the grand scheme of things and there are so many people that have things a lot worse than our 35 minute commute to the church family that we love.

20 months represents rest. Rest I said!!! How can we rest keeping our house up with two kids? I obviously don't mean physical rest. We rest in God's promise that He Who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it (Phil. 1:6). We believe that He began a good work when He led us to Clearview. We believe that God put it on our heart years ago in ministry that we should live in the area where we serve. We know that the Lord will complete that in His timing, and guess what? His timing is always perfect and His ways are always higher and He always knows better than me...always! I can rest in that.

Last, but not least...6 months ago I probably didn't have this peace. Honestly, I probably didn't feel this way ONE month ago, but God has brought me to this place and I'm so glad. It has been difficult for me to get here, and truthfully, there are days that I might not be there, but I FINALLY can thank God for the past 20 months. I don't know what the reason is that God is allowing us to wait this long, but I really don't have to know...and He doesn't have to tell me. I am ok with the fact that I might NEVER know this side of heaven.

I'm grateful for my family (immediate and church!) and I'm grateful for my home...both current and future. I'm also reminded that this isn't really my home anyway which I'm grateful for more than ANYTHING!!

Are you going through something you don't understand too? Have you given it over to the Author and Finisher of our FAITH???

Inspiring Lyrics...


I had downloaded Casting Crowns new one on my iPod "Until the Whole World Hears", but confess that I haven't had a chance to listen to it yet. I decided that as my treadmill music of choice for that reason today during my lunch hour. I still haven't gotten through the whole album because there was a song that hit me like a ton of bricks and I had to keep replaying it. The song is called "Always Enough" and I almost started weeping while jogging on the treadmill (and sweating...sorry for the visual). I'm glad I didn't being the clutz that I am because it would have probably ended badly, but I wanted everyone to see the lyrics:


In a dry and weary land
LORD You are the rain
In a sea of shattered ones
Your love comes rushing in
You hold the world within Your hands
And see each tear that falls
Through every fire and every storm
You're Always Enough, Always Enough


Your love is peace to the broken
Faith for the widow
Hope for the orphan
Strength for the weak
Your love is the anthem of nations
Rings out to the ages
And You're Always Enough for me


In the watches of the night
LORD You are my song
Hope is in the morning light
Your love shines like the dawn
You keep my heart in perfect peace
My life is in Your hands
When confusion hides my way
You're Always Enough, Always Enough


Your love is peace to the broken
Faith for the widow
Hope for the orphan
Strength for the weak
Your love is the anthem of nations
Rings out to the ages
And You're Always Enough for me


I rejoice for my Saviour reigns
I rejoice for He lives in me
God on high He set me free and Worthy is the LORD
I rejoice for my Saviour reigns
I rejoice for He lives in me
God on high He set me free and Worthy is the LORD


Your love is peace to the broken
Faith for the widow
Hope for the orphan
Strength for the weak
Your love is the anthem of nations
Rings out to the ages
And You're Always Enough for me


I rejoice for my Saviour reigns
I rejoice for He lives in me
God on high, He has set me free and worthy is the LORD


In a dry and weary land
LORD You are the rain

Out With the Old, In With the New

The new year is just in a few days and I've been asked several times about resolutions or goals for the new year. I've also heard others mention new things that they want to do when the new year comes and many of them are quite ambitious regarding trying to change the world, etc. I've thought about this a good bit and keep coming up with the same question (especially with the 'making a difference/changing the world' goals), "why do we feel we have to wait until the new year?"

Photo courtesy of www.livedesignonline.com

Lamentations 3:22-24 (NIV)
22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions (mercies in KJV) never fail.
23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

Did you catch that? His mercies are new every morning! We don't have to wait until January 1 of ANY year to make changes in our lives or work toward making a difference in someone else's life. Do it today! Christ gives us a fresh start every day...not just at the start of a new year!! I don't know about you, but that excites me to no end!!! Go out there and make a difference today...no matter what time of year you're reading this post!

My Thanksgiving Blog Post (a little bit late)

Yes, I know I didn't do a Thanksgiving Blog Post for Thanksgiving...thanks for noticing, but since when have I been one to follow rules? So - here goes!

First and foremost I'm thankful for Jesus Christ because of Who He is and what He has done for me:

Psalm 103

1 Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-

3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,

4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,

5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

6 The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.

7 He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:

8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.

9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;

10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;

12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;

That right there is more than enough, isn't it? But there's more! I'm thankful for my husband, Ernie. He has been Jesus to me in human form more times than I can count. I don't know what else to say. He has put up with me and knows me and still loves me...he is my best friend and a fabulous daddy!

I'm thankful for my two precious sons and the joy that they bring. They are energy all the time and keep us on our toes, but I wouldn't trade it for a second! We're also praying about adding a 3rd through the miracle of adoption (don't know boy or girl yet obviously)!! Adoption is fundamental to our Christian faith...we were adopted into Christ's family and are joint heirs with Him and God is our Heavenly Father! I'm thankful for my Christian heritage and for growing up with parents that made sure I was in church and learned scripture! They weren't perfect, but what parents are? I pray that I'm teaching my children Christian principles as my parents did. I'm thankful that I had 30 years with my daddy who touched so many people's lives in his almost 75 years. I'm thankful that I still have my mom. I'm also thankful for my 2 older brothers even though we're not as close as I would like.

I'm thankful for friends...both the Christian friends that keep me accountable and encourage and pray for me and my non-Christian friends that I try to be salt and light to every day.

I'm thankful for our church family and that God has called us into full time ministry. I love being married to a pastor...of course it's not without its challenges, but I wouldn't have it any other way! I only pray that we walk worthy of the calling He has placed on our lives and aren't a stumbling block as we mess up because we're human.

There are so many other things...I've only scratched the surface! Those of you that know me (even some that don't) know that I'm also thankful for the Green Bay Packers and Alabama football (and that we're on our way to a 13th national championship!!!), but I digress. The most important is the first thing mentioned in this post...spend some time in that passage and I would love to talk to you more about it if you have questions. May God bless you and may we be thankful EVERY day and not just once a year!

Shooting the Wounded

I simply don't understand Christians sometimes. I realize that is very bold of me to say especially as a Pastor's wife, but it's true. Sometimes we're quicker to shoot our wounded rather than show grace as Christ showed us so that they can move toward Christ's healing of their wounds.

I had already begun a draft of this post and then I read Rick Warren's devotional for today which had to do with the same topic somewhat. Please click on that hyperlink (scroll over 'Rick Warren's devotional' - hyperlink doesn't like my background apparently)...it's really well written (shocking that a best seller would have a well written devotional...LOL).

These thoughts and his devotional reminded me of a VERY old song in Christian music called "Don't Shoot the Wounded" by Chuck Girard. It was somewhat controversial when it came out because I believe that people would rather hear positive things than be confronted with things that might be uncomfortable. How will we grow in our walk if we don't deal with the uncomfortable? It wasn't the greatest musical score ever done, but the lyrics are certainly worth posting in light of this topic:

(chorus) Don't shoot the wounded, they need us more than ever

They need our love no matter what it is they've done

Sometimes we just condemn them,

And don't take time to hear their story

Don't shoot the wounded, someday you might be one

-------------

It's easy to love the people who are standing hard and fast

Pressing on to meet that higher calling

But the ones who might be struggling, we tend to judge too harshly

And refuse to try and catch them when they're falling

We put people into boxes and we draw our hard conclusions

And when they do the things we know they should not do

We sometimes write them off as hopeless

And we throw them to the dogs

Our compassion and forgiveness sometimes seem in short supply

So I say...(chorus)

We can love them and forgive them

When their sin does not exceed our own

For we too have been down bumpy roads before

But when they commit offenses outside the boundaries we have set

We judge them in a word and we turn them out,

And we close the door

Myself I've been forgiven for so many awful things

I've been cleansed and washed and bathed so many times

That when I see a brother who has fallen from the way

I just can't find the license to convict him of his crimes

So I say...(chorus)

That doesn't mean we turn our heads when we see a brother sin

And pretend that what he's doing is all right

But we must help him see his error, we must lead him to repent

Cry with those who cry, but bring their deeds into the light

For it's the sick that need the doctor,

And it's the lame that need the crutch

It's the prodigal who needs the loving hand

For a man who's in despair, there should be

Kindness from his friends'

Lest he should forsake the fear of almighty God

And turn away from God and man

So I Say...

©1982 Sea of Glass Music/ASCAP

Truly - we can't shoot the wounded because one day we might be one. As is stated in the song...I've been forgiven and shown grace by my Savior...I certainly don't have license to convict anyone. Praise God for His amazing grace...it's not just a song title...it's a gift freely given but rarely understood. I have lived Psalm 103:1-12 so who am I to judge?

REALITY TV

I have been thinking about this crazy phenomenon called Reality Television lately. There are some shows that I like that are considered Reality TV (American Idol and Biggest Loser would be the top 2). I occasionally like to watch "18 and Counting" when I can, but I have to say that I'm concerned for this sweet family. They seem to have it all together...which is where the concern comes in to play.

There have been so many people's lives that have been ruined through Reality TV...Jon and Kate plus 8, Hogan knows Best, Newlyweds...just to name a few. Why do people feel the need to throw all their home life out there for everyone to see?

I just don't want anything to happen to the Duggars. I have to admit that I was amazed at this family and how they keep things orderly with that many children (I'm also amazed at an OB that thinks it's ok for a woman's parts to go through that many children, but that's a whole 'nother blog post). I'm also extremely impressed that they're debt free (and somewhat jealous I might add as we strive for that at our house). At first they seemed to be using this as a ministry or to share their faith. I'm concerned now that it has become something else and I have a hard time believing that your own reality show doesn't change you a bit...maybe even de-sensitize you somewhat.

I pray that it hasn't changed them, but some of the children seem to be liking their "fame" and attention a bit too much and that is usually when the enemy allows pride to come in. Pride is a very scary thing and can do a number on people. I know because I have battled that deadly sin and it still rears its ugly head on occasion. God hates pride (Proverbs 8:13) and it brings disgrace, quarrels and destruction (Proverbs 11:2, 13:10, 16:8), but with humility comes wisdom (Proverbs 11:2). Reality TV has allowed them to become a household name and I believe that can give the enemy a foothold.

I pray for protection over the Duggar family as my brothers and sisters in Christ (lots of them)! I pray that they are "on the alert" and that they will see if the enemy is creeping in and that they will have the courage and boldness to choose their family over fame and that they will lean on their faith to hold them together. That in and of itself can be a wonderful ministry and testimony to the world that Christ is first!