The Ups and Downs of Adoption...

We have been home a little over a week and there have been ups and downs to be honest...but isn't it that way with most things? We have had great moments where she has loved on us and hugged and kissed and copied words we've said. We've had moments at the park with her big brothers where she has had sheer joy going down slides with them. Then we've had whining, fits, crying, grieving and lack of sleep. But the good certainly outweighs the bad! What a precious child she is. We have gotten to see her little personality come out more and more each day. Remember how concerned I was about her file saying how quiet she was and how she didn't like loud noises and we had loud noisy boys? Ha! That is funny!!!!! She is louder than them! She loves playing with them and being noisy with them. I think she can hold her own against her big brothers...not worried at all! It also said she had a temper...now that part couldn't be closer to the truth! We have seen that...or the terrible 2's (not sure which) plenty of times. It is quite a sight to behold...can put this red head's fits to shame I hate to say! I worry about everything now though. This is one of the ugly truths about me. I have worried about my job as a parent with my boys of course, but not as much as I do with her. I know this is bad so please don't preach at me in your comment. :) Your encouragement would be appreciated though. LOL. See...I'm an adoption newbie. I don't have a clue what I'm doing. My poor husband and also my friend who has also adopted...I KNOW I have to be driving them crazy! They have talked me off the ledge so many times this past week. Ugh! I really am trying to take a step back and calm down and take a deep breath and let God do what only He can do, but that is so easy to say and not to do. I really am like this with most major things, but it has just gone into hyper mode since we have been home. My precious hubby reminded me I've never been home full time with a 2 year old though. I had forgotten that. I've always been working and they were in day care at 2. This makes me sad, but I know that i was where God put me at the time. Now God has put me at home. I love it...don't get me wrong, but it's an adjustment. And add a 2 year old that doesn't know me and I don't know her and we can't communicate with each other very well and that makes it even more of an adjustment! I know that my God who called us to this is faithful though. I am encouraged by this fact. I know that things will get better and communication will improve eventually and it will seem like she has been with us her whole life at some point in time. Until then I will trust...my faith will be increased and my trust will be stretched and I will see God's sovereignty more than I ever have. I have to...this is my only hope to not mess up all things parental that have been entrusted to unworthy me. Keep praying for us as parents and for our 3 kids...and mostly that we make much of Jesus in all we do.