Life is Fast, Adoption is Slow

Life has been flying by at a very fast pace while we have been waiting on our LOA (letter of approval) since mid-July. The boys have both been playing football, I've been recovering from shoulder surgery slowly and painfully and Ernie has been working at a full time new job while still leading our church plant. The Lord has been using these times to increase our patience and our faith...tough lessons!

Friday we received a letter turning us down for a grant for which we had applied. We were disappointed and sad and trying to figure out why. In God's perfect timing and kindness, the next morning was Lifeline's seminar Adopt Without Debt. I learned so many things, but I mainly took away that I don't need a grant to carry out God's calling for our family. I shouldn't have been relying on the grant in the first place. I should be relying completely on God. He's the one that supplies for the grants anyway!! He supplied the money so far even with 6 months of Ernie not having an income. That's incredible to think about! How could I forget these things?

That wasn't the only blessing the kindness of the Lord gave me. I ended up meeting a couple there that also is adopting from Maoming and he was the photographer on the trip in July! He had over 100 pictures of our Madison Jade!! She was absolutely gorgeous in every single one of course!!

In conclusion, I can't do a post on 9/11 without remembering what happened 10 years ago. I'm so grateful for the men and women who sacrificially fight for freedom. I was pregnant and scared watching everything unfold 10 years ago. Then 6 months later I was 2 weeks from delivering my 1st child and burying my dad. A lot has happened in 10 years, but we will never forget.

Please continue to pray for our family...including the one that is in another country. Also pray for God to provide for the remaining in-country and travel expenses we have (about $12,000 more), my recovery and our church plant! Be on the lookout for fundraisers that we'll invite you to take part! We're excited to see how God will provide beyond our wildest imagination!

Don't say those bad words!

I know...it's been forever since I blogged.  I've had plenty of posts swirling in my head, but never posted for some reason or another...I doubt this one will be worth the wait (that is very vain of me - and actually humorous - to think that I actually have people that are sitting around waiting for me to write a blog post, but confession and transparency are good I suppose).

Anyhoo...we have words that are considered "bad words" at our house.  For instance, we're not supposed to say "shutup" or "stupid", etc.  Well, I have my own "bad words", but it's probably not what you're thinking.  The words "patience" and "wait" or "waiting" have become bad words to me.  Quite frankly, I've never been known as a patient person so I guess this isn't anything new, but at the place that our family is in our lives I guess it's just taking on new meaning.

The adoption journey is a lot of waiting.  I knew that going into this process, but it's a whole different thing actually going through it and I'm simply not good at it.  We've also been waiting to actually launch a new church, we've been waiting on a job for Ernie...waiting, waiting, waiting.  You would think with all this waiting that I'd get better at it as I go along, wouldn't you?  I mean, I'm usually a fairly quick learner...well, not with life lessons or spiritual lessons...usually God has to hit me over the head with a 2 x 4 before it somewhat starts to sink in.  It's taken me this long to realize that God is trying to teach me patience.  Duh!

Continuing to be completely honest...I dislike this lesson immensely.  Sure, I know Psalm 46:10 tells me to "be still and know that I am God", but it's easier said than done...or it's also easier read than done.  Do you know that's not all of the verse?  The entire verse is: He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  For me, that helps the waiting make more sense.  Maybe God wants me to wait because He will get more glory in and through the waiting and with the final result.  I don't know if it makes it easier, but it makes more sense knowing the last part of the verse.

I know that God's timing is perfect; there is nothing lost in His economy and all the other Christian cliches or Sunday School answers...they're easy to see in someone else's life and even tell them that.  But if I really believe those statements and that verse, then I need to live it in my own life (maybe I need to re-read about getting the plank out of my own eye before pointing it out in someone else's - Matthew 7).  I actually had the audacity to tell my precious Godly husband to quit praying for patience for us through all of these things because it will cause us to wait longer.  What that says about me is that I'd rather not trust in God's timing and I'd rather not learn the lessons that the Lord has for me throughout this process...I'd rather not just sit on the bench staring at the cross like my oldest son in the picture above and know that He is God and wants - and DESERVES - to be exalted!!  It also says that I'm scared to wait.  You see, if I wait then I might learn some things about myself that I would rather be blissfully ignorant.  YUCK!  How messed up is that?

During this point in our lives of hurry up and wait, I'm truly trying to embrace the words "wait" and "patience" rather than think of them as bad words.  I'm trying to see the positive things that happen along the way and also the positives that will come in the future from waiting and being still right now.  I know it's already increasing our faith and I'm so grateful!  I need a lot of faith when we need about $19,000 more for the adoption!  Which reminds me...here's a way you can help with that (how's that for a transition?): order coffee for yourself or for gifts here: http://www.justlovecoffee.com/TheWillisHome and they'll send us a check for each coffee sale made!  Thank you!!!

Have you learned this lesson?  Do you find it hard to wait?  Is God trying to teach you patience or increase your faith?

Sick and tired of being sick and tired...
Do you ever find yourself complaining? I have found myself complaining lately and have been convicted about it. I had bronchitis for about 3 weeks and was just getting over it and now I'm having sinus problems and can't breathe while trying to sleep...I have had my house on the market since July and it hasn't sold yet...still commuting to church makes life difficult on Monday and Thursday mornings to get our school aged son to school on time because he's so tired from not getting as much rest as normal...yada yada yada - you get the point.

I've always been a 'glass half full' person and tried to look for the positive side. I believe that is what the Lord would want from us so I think that's why He has been convicting me of my complacency. I never realized until now how negative I was being. Do you realize how much that can affect different aspects of your life? Don't even mention how your children watch everything you do and pick up on it!

I've learned recently that it can always be worse. That has become our newest motto at our house to remind us of how good we have it. We've seen so many people in TRUE pain with REAL problems through ministry and just friends of ours...it really puts things in perspective and totally embarasses me for even complaining. We have healthy children, a roof over our heads, food on the table, cars that drive...we are 'better than we deserve' to quote Dave Ramsey. Honestly, even if we were suffering we'd still be better than we deserve because we'd have our life in Christ. I deserved death and my Lord took that pain for me on the cross so that I could spend eternity with Him. I live in America where I'm free to worship Him as I choose...there are brothers and sisters in other parts of the world that live in fear that they could be killed at any moment for doing that...people that have willingly put themselves and their families in those situations in hopes of winning people with the love of Christ.

Thank you, Lord, for your gentle and sweet reminder of what life is truly about...as we prepare to go into the holidays and be in the middle of all that hustle and bustle...please continue to remind us of this when necessary.