It's not about me...

The first line in Rick Warren's book "The Purpose Driven Life" is..."it's not about you."  I've read that book, I grew up in church, I went to Christian school, I went to Bible college, I'm married to a Pastor/Church planter, yada yada yada...who cares? I have SOOOOOOO much to learn about it not being about me. I've dealt with pride in the past and it's not a fun lesson to learn.  What I'm learning right now is that line from that book doesn't always mean you're prideful.  It can mean you're selfish (which can be rooted in pride obviously).

If there is anything that I learned when I had my first child...it's that I'm selfish.  Then I regressed and forgot that little nugget.  I had a 2nd child and was reminded that I'm selfish.  Time went on and I moved on from changing that behavior.  We started going through the adoption process and information and learned before we travelled that we needed to think about things from her perspective.  It helps you to understand why she might react or act out in a certain way.  If I'm anything...I'm honest...and to be honest with you...that  part is somewhat easy when you're in her country.  It's easy to think of things from her perspective...you're somewhat living in it still.  It's even easy to do that the first week or so when you're home, but as you get comfy in your own home and try and get back into your routine...you can easily forget it.  Especially when you're selfish like me.

I have learned a lot about many things through being a parent...and now a parent of an adopted child, but nothing as blatantly obvious to me as (once again) that I'm selfish.  Hard headed much? I get so frustrated with myself that I can't seem to get this life lesson...it's not about me...it's not even about my children or my husband, but it's about Jesus!  I want to complain about how much life I've "given up" for my kids...or to plant a church...or WHATEVER.

I believe that the enemy likes to plant those little things in our heads to get us focused on ourselves rather than what's important and what God has called us to do.  It's a battle of the mind for me so I know I need to keep my mind on Christ and His calling.  I know a lot of things don't make sense to most people out there, but God called us to plant a church, He called us to adopt knowing we wouldn't have 1 income for 6 months in the middle of that and He called me to leave a great job with great people that I loved to stay home with these children.  If that's crazy then I guess you're reading a blog of a crazy person (you can see below that our newest addition fits in well).

I came across these verses yesterday in my devotions (and I love it in the NLT version):
2 Corinthians 5:13 If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit. 14 Either way, Christ's love controls us. Since we believe that christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life.

I pray that we're bringing glory to God through everything. I pray that it benefits others because Christ's love controls us...crazy or not! So I renounce for GOOD my selfishness and move toward service...Christ first, then family and then others so this family of 5 can make a difference!

All Things Are Possible...Really?

Matthew 19:26  Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

I've been thinking about this verse a lot lately.  This verse is in context of salvation.  Jesus was asked by the rich man how a person was saved.  When Jesus told him to sell all his possessions and follow Christ, the man walked away sad because he was rich and he apparently didn't want to part with his wealth.  The disciples continued the conversation with Jesus and were "astonished" and in verse 25 asked how anyone could be saved.  That was His answer.

I've been reading a book called "The Christian Atheist" by Craig Groeschel.  The title of the book sounds strange at first, but the subtitle explains the premise of the book: believing in God but living as if He doesn't exist.  Wow...how many times have I done that?...just in the past week?

I remember thinking about similar things when I went through the Bible study by Beth Moore called "Believing God".  There are 5 statements of faith that you say with her EVERY week on the video:
1.  God is Who He says He is
2.  God can do what He says He can do
3.  I am who God says I am
4.  I can do all things through Christ
5.  God's Word is alive and active in me
I'm believing God!

I've thought about all of these things so much lately because in my flesh I sometimes get overwhelmed with life.  Right at this very moment here's a snapshot of my world: wife, mom of 2 boys, daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, friend, full time VP of Marketing and Business Development, part time Premier Jewelry Lady, trying to adopt from China (which includes raising a LOT of money), hubby and I trying to plant a church by Easter...sometimes I think, seriously God?  I have literally been in the car and yelled out, "I CAN'T DO THIS LORD!!!" 

Then the Lord speaks in His still small voice (which, if I'm honest, I sometimes don't like hearing because it's not what I want to hear), "with God all things are possible".  This morning I sang that song by Hillsong, "All Things Are Possible" and even as I type, there is a song playing that asks a haunting question, "Do I believe that You're my God?...that You're all I need; that You're all I need?"  Do I?  Do I believe in God, but merely live my life as if He doesn't really exist and that He really can't do ALL that He says He can do?  Frankly, yes, sometimes I do...confession time.

God is the God of the impossible...I HAVE to believe that and live like it to get through that never ending list up there.  Praise God that I don't have to do it...I CAN'T do it on my own.  I don't possess the capabilities...neither does my hubby no matter how awesome and Godly he is...BUT GOD!!!!!!!!  Those are the two most awesome words to me these days...but God CAN do all of those things...and God help me if I try to do it on my own or try to get in His way!  That list now changes to I am a daughter of the King, joint heir with Jesus, loved by the Most High God, a life redeemed from the pit, clothed in the righteousness of Christ, receive new mercies EVERY morning and more than a conqueror through Christ!!

With God ALL things are possible...He can do what He says He can do...Do you believe that?  Do you believe that, but live as if it's not really true?  Lord, help my unbelief!

Just Because...

It's not our anniversary, it's not his birthday and it's not Father's day, but I want to brag on my hubby just because.  Mainly...because he deserves it!

I truly am so blessed.  We have been married for a little over 18 years and dated 4 years before that so we've been together over half my life.  He has stuck with me through thick and thin...when he said "for better or for worse" he probably didn't realize what he was saying at the time.  There has been better, worse and everything in between, but I can honestly say that we are in the best place we have ever been in our marriage.

We have recently been through some pretty tough life changing things but he has been a rock the whole time.  He really has...I'm not just saying that!  When my red hair started flaring he said, "God is our defender...let's just pray about it".  Seriously?  I get the praying part, but why not defend ourselves?  God gave us a mouth and opinions...speak them!  Nope, not my hubs...and you know what?  I'm SO glad he's like that because I'm SO not that way!!! (Those of you that know me well can quit saying "amen" now.)  He really does even me out and make me a better person than I am!!  Honestly...he made me laugh at things by the time we finished talking about them.  I love the fact that he can make me laugh when no one else can!!

Now, he will be the first person to say that is because of Christ in him and it's Christ that makes him love me well...and also Christ that makes me a better person and not him.  I get that, but he has to allow Christ to do that and he does!!!!  I'm so thankful for that.

He has been such an example of Christ to me for 22 years...but especially over the past 9 months.  I'm grateful that God put him in my life and that God gave him such patience to put up with me!!!  I don't want to take that for granted so I didn't wait for a special occasion...I did this just because.  I love you, Ernie Willis!!!

The story that must be told...

The choir and praise team at church were given a new cd to learn our new music several months back. There is a song on there that I LOVE (of course it's Hillsong United so of course I LOVE it) called "Break the Silence" and the words have haunted me since the first time I heard it. We went through it in choir practice the other night and there they were again...

To the far ends of earth we go

Love's story must be told

We can not live in comfort anymore

I hope that bothers you as much as it bothers me...or maybe I don't hope that...I'd rather hope that it's true in life and not hard for you to sing. For me, it's very hard to sing.

I brought this up to our Minister of Worship last week. I don't believe in singing songs/lyrics mindlessly - you can't communicate authentically that way leading in worship. Is it true that I'm willing to give up my comfort to tell others about Christ? Is it true that I'm so compelled by the Gospel of Christ and telling others that are lost and hopeless about Him that I don't want to be comfortable until they've heard? I would love to say a resounding "yes!" to all of that, but if I'm honest with myself (which is usually the hardest person to be honest with...have you noticed?) then my answer is quite the contrary. I clearly have a lot of work to do in my walk with Christ. I like my comfort...I like my home and family the way it is...my routine...my coffee in the morning (EVERY morning)...church on Sundays the way I like it but ONLY on my terms...face it - life is comfortable...maybe TOO comfortable.

Please don't think that I'm saying that to be a true Christian you must live in poverty on the streets or something. If you think that then you're missing what I'm saying. I'm afraid that we've all gotten a little too comfortable with our Christian walk and church especially. Are we willing to sacrifice sleep to hit our knees more for that unsaved loved one...or spend more time in His Word? Are we willing to go the extra mile to serve someone without anyone knowing? Do we desire to support missions so much that we'll give up eating out or Starbucks a few times so that we can send money to someone giving their life to tell others about Christ? I'm speaking to myself more than anyone...I am the chief of sinners. I'm challenged to live better...more like Christ in these aspects...think about what I'm doing or not doing more...I hope you are as well.

20 months...


What do I mean by that title? What's behind 20 months?...you might be asking (unless you're Rhonda or Ernie). Well, there is a lot behind that time frame...mainly our house.

Our house will have been on the market 20 months the first week of March. Many of you just gasped at that and that's ok...some days I feel like that too. But 20 months represents so much more than just that - let me explain.

First and foremost, 20 months represents faithfulness by our Lord. You probably think I'm out of my mind by saying that, but it's true. God has faithfully provided for our needs every month, every week and every day of every week and month! His provision has been incredible as we have a roof over our head in a safe neighborhood with wonderful schools and 5 minutes from my office. He has provided jobs for Ernie and I that pay for groceries, mortgage, our vehicles and so much more than we really need. God has been faithful to continue to provide people to come and look at our house even if they're not buying it right now. It only takes one showing...one person or one family and one day that person or family will come along - I believe that.

Also, 20 months represents learning. God has taught us so much about prayer, believing that God is Who He says He is (no matter what happens or doesn't happen), beliving that God will do what He says He will do (no matter what happens or doesn't happen), beliving that God's Word is alive and active in us, believing God (can you tell I've listened to Beth Moore?), each other and faith in general. We have also learned that this is a really trivial thing in the grand scheme of things and there are so many people that have things a lot worse than our 35 minute commute to the church family that we love.

20 months represents rest. Rest I said!!! How can we rest keeping our house up with two kids? I obviously don't mean physical rest. We rest in God's promise that He Who began a good work in us will be faithful to complete it (Phil. 1:6). We believe that He began a good work when He led us to Clearview. We believe that God put it on our heart years ago in ministry that we should live in the area where we serve. We know that the Lord will complete that in His timing, and guess what? His timing is always perfect and His ways are always higher and He always knows better than me...always! I can rest in that.

Last, but not least...6 months ago I probably didn't have this peace. Honestly, I probably didn't feel this way ONE month ago, but God has brought me to this place and I'm so glad. It has been difficult for me to get here, and truthfully, there are days that I might not be there, but I FINALLY can thank God for the past 20 months. I don't know what the reason is that God is allowing us to wait this long, but I really don't have to know...and He doesn't have to tell me. I am ok with the fact that I might NEVER know this side of heaven.

I'm grateful for my family (immediate and church!) and I'm grateful for my home...both current and future. I'm also reminded that this isn't really my home anyway which I'm grateful for more than ANYTHING!!

Are you going through something you don't understand too? Have you given it over to the Author and Finisher of our FAITH???

Out With the Old, In With the New

The new year is just in a few days and I've been asked several times about resolutions or goals for the new year. I've also heard others mention new things that they want to do when the new year comes and many of them are quite ambitious regarding trying to change the world, etc. I've thought about this a good bit and keep coming up with the same question (especially with the 'making a difference/changing the world' goals), "why do we feel we have to wait until the new year?"

Photo courtesy of www.livedesignonline.com

Lamentations 3:22-24 (NIV)
22 Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions (mercies in KJV) never fail.
23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
24 I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

Did you catch that? His mercies are new every morning! We don't have to wait until January 1 of ANY year to make changes in our lives or work toward making a difference in someone else's life. Do it today! Christ gives us a fresh start every day...not just at the start of a new year!! I don't know about you, but that excites me to no end!!! Go out there and make a difference today...no matter what time of year you're reading this post!

My Thanksgiving Blog Post (a little bit late)

Yes, I know I didn't do a Thanksgiving Blog Post for Thanksgiving...thanks for noticing, but since when have I been one to follow rules? So - here goes!

First and foremost I'm thankful for Jesus Christ because of Who He is and what He has done for me:

Psalm 103

1 Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-

3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,

4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,

5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

6 The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.

7 He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:

8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.

9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;

10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;

12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;

That right there is more than enough, isn't it? But there's more! I'm thankful for my husband, Ernie. He has been Jesus to me in human form more times than I can count. I don't know what else to say. He has put up with me and knows me and still loves me...he is my best friend and a fabulous daddy!

I'm thankful for my two precious sons and the joy that they bring. They are energy all the time and keep us on our toes, but I wouldn't trade it for a second! We're also praying about adding a 3rd through the miracle of adoption (don't know boy or girl yet obviously)!! Adoption is fundamental to our Christian faith...we were adopted into Christ's family and are joint heirs with Him and God is our Heavenly Father! I'm thankful for my Christian heritage and for growing up with parents that made sure I was in church and learned scripture! They weren't perfect, but what parents are? I pray that I'm teaching my children Christian principles as my parents did. I'm thankful that I had 30 years with my daddy who touched so many people's lives in his almost 75 years. I'm thankful that I still have my mom. I'm also thankful for my 2 older brothers even though we're not as close as I would like.

I'm thankful for friends...both the Christian friends that keep me accountable and encourage and pray for me and my non-Christian friends that I try to be salt and light to every day.

I'm thankful for our church family and that God has called us into full time ministry. I love being married to a pastor...of course it's not without its challenges, but I wouldn't have it any other way! I only pray that we walk worthy of the calling He has placed on our lives and aren't a stumbling block as we mess up because we're human.

There are so many other things...I've only scratched the surface! Those of you that know me (even some that don't) know that I'm also thankful for the Green Bay Packers and Alabama football (and that we're on our way to a 13th national championship!!!), but I digress. The most important is the first thing mentioned in this post...spend some time in that passage and I would love to talk to you more about it if you have questions. May God bless you and may we be thankful EVERY day and not just once a year!

Sick and tired of being sick and tired...
Do you ever find yourself complaining? I have found myself complaining lately and have been convicted about it. I had bronchitis for about 3 weeks and was just getting over it and now I'm having sinus problems and can't breathe while trying to sleep...I have had my house on the market since July and it hasn't sold yet...still commuting to church makes life difficult on Monday and Thursday mornings to get our school aged son to school on time because he's so tired from not getting as much rest as normal...yada yada yada - you get the point.

I've always been a 'glass half full' person and tried to look for the positive side. I believe that is what the Lord would want from us so I think that's why He has been convicting me of my complacency. I never realized until now how negative I was being. Do you realize how much that can affect different aspects of your life? Don't even mention how your children watch everything you do and pick up on it!

I've learned recently that it can always be worse. That has become our newest motto at our house to remind us of how good we have it. We've seen so many people in TRUE pain with REAL problems through ministry and just friends of ours...it really puts things in perspective and totally embarasses me for even complaining. We have healthy children, a roof over our heads, food on the table, cars that drive...we are 'better than we deserve' to quote Dave Ramsey. Honestly, even if we were suffering we'd still be better than we deserve because we'd have our life in Christ. I deserved death and my Lord took that pain for me on the cross so that I could spend eternity with Him. I live in America where I'm free to worship Him as I choose...there are brothers and sisters in other parts of the world that live in fear that they could be killed at any moment for doing that...people that have willingly put themselves and their families in those situations in hopes of winning people with the love of Christ.

Thank you, Lord, for your gentle and sweet reminder of what life is truly about...as we prepare to go into the holidays and be in the middle of all that hustle and bustle...please continue to remind us of this when necessary.