Don't say those bad words!

I know...it's been forever since I blogged.  I've had plenty of posts swirling in my head, but never posted for some reason or another...I doubt this one will be worth the wait (that is very vain of me - and actually humorous - to think that I actually have people that are sitting around waiting for me to write a blog post, but confession and transparency are good I suppose).

Anyhoo...we have words that are considered "bad words" at our house.  For instance, we're not supposed to say "shutup" or "stupid", etc.  Well, I have my own "bad words", but it's probably not what you're thinking.  The words "patience" and "wait" or "waiting" have become bad words to me.  Quite frankly, I've never been known as a patient person so I guess this isn't anything new, but at the place that our family is in our lives I guess it's just taking on new meaning.

The adoption journey is a lot of waiting.  I knew that going into this process, but it's a whole different thing actually going through it and I'm simply not good at it.  We've also been waiting to actually launch a new church, we've been waiting on a job for Ernie...waiting, waiting, waiting.  You would think with all this waiting that I'd get better at it as I go along, wouldn't you?  I mean, I'm usually a fairly quick learner...well, not with life lessons or spiritual lessons...usually God has to hit me over the head with a 2 x 4 before it somewhat starts to sink in.  It's taken me this long to realize that God is trying to teach me patience.  Duh!

Continuing to be completely honest...I dislike this lesson immensely.  Sure, I know Psalm 46:10 tells me to "be still and know that I am God", but it's easier said than done...or it's also easier read than done.  Do you know that's not all of the verse?  The entire verse is: He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”  For me, that helps the waiting make more sense.  Maybe God wants me to wait because He will get more glory in and through the waiting and with the final result.  I don't know if it makes it easier, but it makes more sense knowing the last part of the verse.

I know that God's timing is perfect; there is nothing lost in His economy and all the other Christian cliches or Sunday School answers...they're easy to see in someone else's life and even tell them that.  But if I really believe those statements and that verse, then I need to live it in my own life (maybe I need to re-read about getting the plank out of my own eye before pointing it out in someone else's - Matthew 7).  I actually had the audacity to tell my precious Godly husband to quit praying for patience for us through all of these things because it will cause us to wait longer.  What that says about me is that I'd rather not trust in God's timing and I'd rather not learn the lessons that the Lord has for me throughout this process...I'd rather not just sit on the bench staring at the cross like my oldest son in the picture above and know that He is God and wants - and DESERVES - to be exalted!!  It also says that I'm scared to wait.  You see, if I wait then I might learn some things about myself that I would rather be blissfully ignorant.  YUCK!  How messed up is that?

During this point in our lives of hurry up and wait, I'm truly trying to embrace the words "wait" and "patience" rather than think of them as bad words.  I'm trying to see the positive things that happen along the way and also the positives that will come in the future from waiting and being still right now.  I know it's already increasing our faith and I'm so grateful!  I need a lot of faith when we need about $19,000 more for the adoption!  Which reminds me...here's a way you can help with that (how's that for a transition?): order coffee for yourself or for gifts here: http://www.justlovecoffee.com/TheWillisHome and they'll send us a check for each coffee sale made!  Thank you!!!

Have you learned this lesson?  Do you find it hard to wait?  Is God trying to teach you patience or increase your faith?