Confession...

I know this won't come as a shock to most of you, but I'm a stinkin' (as we say in the south), rotten, filthy sinner! Seriously, I had some quiet time with God recently and asked Him to reveal anything that might be hindering my walk with Him or the ministry that He has called us to most recently. Well, you know that the Lord say to ask and we'll receive? A lot of times people only want to use that when they're talking about getting things they want in a more material way, but He uses that also for the not so pleasant! He revealed to me my selfishness! Again, I'm sure this isn't a shock to most of you, but I can be so selfish most of the time.

Since we've been on this adoption journey God has been teaching me about my lack of faith and that manifests itself through selfishness. I realized this in my quiet time the other morning and I tweeted right after that, "self pity is a form of selfishness that clouds judgment which keeps us from seeing the needs of others to serve them in the name of Jesus". That is what the Lord revealed to me in His kindness. I'm so thankful that it's His kindness that leads us to repentance, aren't you?

Ok, to bring it full circle for all of you who are confused...I've been so consumed by our needs financially to finish this adoption and asking everyone to pray that I have missed so many opportunities to serve others. God, help me and my unbelief! I'm obviously still learning these lessons, but glad that He has shown me this! You can't deal with what you don't know, can you? Conviction isn't fun, but it's necessary for maturity.

The song,"My Own Little World", by Matthew West describes me to a tee:

In my own little world it hardly ever rains

I've never gone hungry and always felt safe

I got some money in my pocket shoes on my feet

In my own little world

Population me

I try to stay awake through the Sunday morning church

I throw a twenty in the plate but I never give 'til it hurts

and I turn off the news when I don't like what I see

it's easy to do when it's

population me

What if there's a bigger picture

what if I'm missing out

What if there's a greater purpose

I could be living right now

outside my own little world

Stopped at the red light, looked out my window

Outside the car, saw a sign, said "Help this homeless widow"

Just above this sign was the face of a human

I thought to myself, "God, what have I been doing?"

So I rolled down my window and I looked her in the eye

Oh how many times have I just passed her by

I gave her some money then I drove on through

in my own little world there's

Population two

What if there's a bigger picture

what if I'm missing out

What if there's a greater purpose

I could be living right now

outside my own little world

Start breaking my heart for what breaks Yours

give me open hands and open doors

put Your light in my eyes and let me see

that my own little world is not about me

I don't want to miss out on God's bigger picture while in my own little world worrying about stuff that God already is handling.  What is God teaching you right now?