Peace for 2016...

PEACE...that's the word that the Lord gave me for this New Year. For several years, I've prayed for the Lord to give me a word to focus on for the year. I have found that it is usually something that needs some change in my life.

One of the meanings of PEACE is freedom from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; tranquility, serenity. Another is a state of mutual harmony between people or groups. You're probably asking (I am as well) how does a mother of 3 (ages 13, 10 & 6) who runs a business from home, is a pastor's wife, and takes care of her mother with dementia achieve peace in 2016?

Let's start with what we know. I know from Romans 5:1 that because my faith has justified me it causes me to have PEACE with God through Jesus Christ. I know that one of the names of Jesus is the Prince of PEACE. Romans 12 and 14 both speak about living at PEACE with others. I Corinthians 14:33 says that God isn't a god of disorder but of PEACE. Galatians 5 tells us that one of the fruits of the spirit is PEACE. Philippians 4 says that we should be anxious for nothing, but in prayer to make our requests made known to God, and then the PEACE of God (which transcends all understanding) will guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. These references are just the tip of the iceberg.

Here's something else I know...PEACE only comes through Christ. That is the source. I can't obtain PEACE on my own power.

So here's the plan...I'm first praying for PEACE in my life. I'm asking the Prince of PEACE - the only source for PEACE that I know - to grant me PEACE and to help me to look for ways to be a PEACE maker and finder throughout each day. Next, I'm going to continue to learn more about PEACE. I'm going to study God's Word more because I have this "hunch" that as I get closer to the Source and Prince of PEACE, that I will find more PEACE in my life and family.

It's that simple. I don't believe it's rocket science. I think that we take God at His Word...ask Him and seek Him. Am I missing something? How do you think that you achieve PEACE in 2016?

An Open Letter to a Chinese Birth Mother (on sanctity of life Sunday)...

I know we have never met, but I feel like I know you. I have prayed for you more times than I could count without knowing your name or what you look like. I imagine that you are beautiful because my daughter is. 

You see, a little over 4 years ago you made a choice. You chose life. And for that we are incredibly grateful. Grateful doesn't even describe how we feel, but that is the best word I can come up with to try to come close. I can't imagine how you felt that day or what was going through your mind. I imagine you were scared or felt alone...or maybe you were alone. You might still be alone. I think you were very courageous to choose life and to choose to leave your precious daughter at an orphanage gate so she would be found, cared for and safe. 

I can't lie and say that I understand why you did that to your infant, but it's not for me to understand. I believe it was part of God's story He was writing for my family which was incomplete. I pray that it is part of your story too...a story that one day leads you to Jesus. He's the only one who can complete you and love you unconditionally. He gave his life for you and the precious baby girl you left that day. 

It's my job now to take care of her and tell her about her Heavenly Father who loved her so much that he died for her. I have had that role with her now almost 2 glorious years. She is vibrant and full of life. She has a vivid imagination and says some hilarious things daily. She loves her big brothers and they love her. I think you would want to know that she's very smart. 

We tell her about her story and how God put us all together. Don't worry...we would never say anything negative about you to her for you chose life. Thank you for doing that because we now are a family of 5 because of that brave choice. We are eternally grateful for our daughter and the miracle of adoption which we wouldn't have experienced without your choice of life. 

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We will always pray for you and think of you with gratefulness. 

- the Willis family (Ernie, Michele, Jackson, Carson and Madison Jade)

Words...

Words are important. I hope that we all know that by now! Proverbs 18:21 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Ecclesiastes 5:2 states, "Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.  God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few." There were over 400 verses that came up in my search of "words". It's a big deal to God apparently.

I'm a talker.  I can talk to anyone.  I can talk to myself, the dog...no one even.  My prayer for this year is that my words be few. This will clearly be difficult for me because I talk too much. I want to listen more...not just to others, but more importantly...to the Lord.

Since this is my focus, I prayed that the Lord would give me ONLY one word for 2014.  I believe that my one word for 2013 was change. We had some change in our home...the biggest one being the decision to home school the kids. This was huge for us as a family...it meant some sacrifice and it meant me eating some crow, but I believe that it was what God led us to do and He has blessed it in my opinion.

My word for 2014 is freedom. I did Beth Moore's Bible study called Breaking Free several years ago and feel like the Lord used it to help me break free from some things growing up, etc., but this is even more spiritual for me. This is freedom to live completely the way God intended for me to live which is totally out of control, surrendering ONLY to living in God's will.

I don't really believe that we've been out of God's will, but understand that what I mean is that I'm a control freak. I recognize that my opinions are creeping in a lot of times in a lot of areas...particularly with my children. Did you catch that? MY children? They're not mine and they never were...they're God's children that He entrusted to hubby and me to raise. I have my own plans, ideas, opinions, agenda and I'm convicted by these facts. This is why I believe that God gave me this word.

I'm committed to 2014 being a year of freedom in Christ:

• freedom from "scheduling" God...freedom to be led by His Holy Spirit in EVERYTHING, completely relying on ONLY Christ (like not saying a word or making one step without asking the Lord first...He ALONE will complete me and be more than enough)
• freedom from bondage of anger that I'm quick to jump into (especially with my kids)...freedom to find joy/peace/thankfulness in all things
• freedom from a particular way to do things...freedom to be flexible and more spontaneous, but also freedom to say no when I need to spend time elsewhere with no guilt...freedom to feel FREE and not live my life with concern of other's opinion
• freedom from taking myself so seriously...freedom to be a kid at heart and have fun and be creative
• freedom from my selfish self...freedom to pour into relationships with a servant heart (with Christ first, family 2nd, Premier family next then others)

I anticipate awesome God moments this year with this being the focus. I'm so excited with HUGE expectations of what the Lord will do in and through me, my family and my business which is my women's ministry for me. 

Happy New Year of Freedom in Christ!

The Things You Learn From 'Sofia the First'...

It's well documented that my daughter doesn't really sit and watch TV. I guess that's a good thing, but every once in a while a homeschool mommy needs a little break so don't judge me that I've tried to get her to enjoy it more. I suppose that 28 months in an orphanage that doesn't own a TV might factor into that, but that's beside the point. Anyway, in my attempts to get her to watch for longer than 90 seconds, we've had minor successes here and there. One show she seems to enjoy is "Sofia the First" on Disney Jr. She still won't watch a whole episode by herself, but not for lack of trying.

The other morning I woke up with a headache. The boys were still sleeping so we hadn't started school yet and when MJ woke up I just turned on the TV and decided to sit with her in my bed for a bit while I prayed for my headache to go away before school started. "Sofia the First" was coming on and MJ seemed particularly excited that the announcer said that this was a "new Christmas episode". (She has asked me every morning since the tree went up if it was Christmas Day yet.) I halfway was paying attention to it...enough to know that Sofia's dad, the King, was lost and a family had taken him in during the snow storm  Sofia, her brother, a sister and her mom were out looking for him trying to find him by Christmas. My daughter's precious little hand started poking my arm and then pointed to the TV while she said, "Momma, look! It's seeping booty!" (sorry, but that's the way she says it and I think it's adorable).  She has a Sleeping Beauty princess dress so she wanted me to pay attention to Princess Aurora who helped Sofia find her daddy.

I ended up watching the rest of it and it honestly was very touching (quit laughing and indulge me for the sake of this post). When Sofia and family showed up at the door (along with a servant or two...royal family ya know) they were understandably excited to see their dad...hugging, smiling, etc. Sofia's sister notices a large bag quickly after that which is loaded with presents (I'm assuming this is how the dad got lost or stuck or whatever...he was getting gifts or something). She asks what they are and the dad says that they were presents for them. The kids are excited and go and take them out of the bag and start to unwrap them until they see the 2 children of the family that took care of their royal father playing with one toy together because that's all they had. They also looked and noticed no presents under the tree. In fashion of the typical Disney perfect ending, Sofia walks over and gives her gift to the other children. Her sister and brother follow suit stating that they have enough gifts. Mom and Dad are proud of their children and they all dance and enjoy Christmas with the two families. Yada, yada, yada...

I'm sure you guys predicted the ending as much as I did. We all knew that was going to happen, but I couldn't get it out of my mind. It moved me. Yes, it was a silly and predictable children's cartoon, but it spoke volumes, didn't it?

Don't we all have enough gifts? Or just enough period? I mean, we live in America...land of the free and home of the brave...the American Dream and all that jazz...it's right here under our noses! Sure, some have it better than others, but I'm not talking about comparisons...that game is dangerous. I'm talking about the fact that we're reading this on a computer or a smart phone probably. Those alone are more than the necessities in life, aren't they? If we thought about it and then were honest, we would say yes. But I believe that we have learned to justify our wants into needs so much that we have to think about what our true necessities are more than we should have to think about it.

In a few hours, my family will gather in the van to go to the church I grew up in so that we can love on a family that is very special to me because they lost their only son in a hunting accident this week. It's less than two weeks until Christmas. The rest of the world is worried about making sure they've gotten everything little Johnny asked Santa for when the last thing little Johnny probably "needs" is another toy. I'm a parent...don't get me wrong...I'm not anti-presents or anti-Santa. Don't miss what I'm saying though. This week a goofy cartoon story and the loss of a 25 year old child has reminded me of something I know to be true.  After 42 years of life I should not have to continue to learn over and over again (but apparently I'm not as quick of a learner as I thought) that life isn't about getting...it's about giving. I fear I haven't taught my children this very well. Life is short...make sure you invest it in people like Drew Vigneulle did in his short 25 years on this earth. Clearly Mick and Sue did a fantastic job teaching their kids what is important. Thank You, Lord!

My husband always says, "If I live to be 100 years old and the Lord doesn't do one more thing for me, what He did for me on the cross was enough...more than enough. I don't need one other thing in life for it to be good and complete." I confess that I don't truly live that way. I know I'm supposed to believe that way, but if I don't truly live that way, do I believe it? What am I teaching my children as they follow my example? My kids will be much better adults if I invest my time with them rather than gifts. Pour into people...not things. I was reminded of verses I learned as a child...

Matthew 6
¹⁹ “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. ²⁰ But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. ²¹ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Our year in review...this is what is important and my children will probably remember more than what they open in a little over a week...

New Adventure - Homeschool

We have begun a new adventure...one that I LITERALLY said that I would NEVER do.  Well, never say never because I'm homeschooling!!  I have to preface by letting you know that we're only 2 weeks into this new adventure.

I also need to address the elephant in the room of yes, I realize that it's been a while since I've blogged. We did have a great summer and took the family to Disney thanks to Premier Designs!! I suppose that I should have blogged on that and I guess that I will some day, but I'm dipping my toe in first with the "hottest" topic at our house which is homeschool.

Obligatory 1st day of school pics:

I have to say that one observation I've made so far...there is a fine line between feeling like SuperMom and feeling like FailureMom. You that are used to reading my blog (back when I was posting regularly) or if you know me at all...you know that I like to live in honesty world. I'm just telling you like it is.  My first day I walked into it with much fear and trembling! When we were done I looked at myself and said, "This is easier than I thought. Why didn't I do this sooner? I'm SuperMom...cleaning, laundry, school!"  What does the Bible say about pride? Wow...it didn't take long for me to get knocked down a peg or FIVE!

Last week went fairly well in the grand scheme of things if I'm being honest.  This week is only 2 days in and...not so much.  Yesterday was FailureMom. I felt like I couldn't help Carson understand anything. He got frustrated.  I got frustrated.  It wasn't a good scene. I truly texted my precious hubby and said I was done. If he wanted to homeschool them that was fine and I would find a full time traditional job again and he could do it. Otherwise I was going to re-enroll them in school because I was clearly not cutting it as teacher or even as mom at the moment. Thankfully Ernie isn't a "freaker outer" like me.  He talked me off the ledge and after I had a little "deck alone time" and another cup of coffee (which make most things better in my world) I realized he was right and I can truly be stupid sometimes.

I knew going into this that there would be hard days.  I knew that Carson had been struggling some in school last year so I suspected he would be the harder nut to crack. I also know that the enemy is a liar. He preys on our emotions at the time and our fears. The enemy knew that I have been worried about money lately.  In the past 3 months we've spent almost $2000 in unexpected expenses (A/C went out at the house, car repairs for hubby's car, a tree fell on our house).  That's a lot of money to us. This weekend our condensation pump backed up and we had water in our basement.  I've had a desire for around 4-5 years to move back to the Trussville area (we've lived in this house 9 years next month). We still need to replace our broken dishwasher (put on hold due to extra expenses), paint the interior, replace the kitchen floor, get carpets cleaned, among a few other things that don't have an expense tied to them before we can put a sign in the yard. All those things seemed a lot bigger than they actually are when Monday rolled around with a bad day of homeschool. The enemy used all of that to make me second guess doing the things that we believe God has led us to do (full time Premier, homeschool, etc.).  Did I mentioned my hubby has been doing a series at church on spiritual warfare? I didn't? Well, no surprise that he is.  Anytime he speaks on spiritual warfare these type things happen.  You'd think I'd learn!

Anyway, I choose to dwell on the following: I am more than a conqueror with Christ, I'm a daughter of the King, I'm made in the image of Christ, I'm clothed in the righteousness of Christ, I'm part of the beautiful bride of Christ, I am NOT a failure because Christ makes me an overcomer (thanks for the reminder, Mandisa), I have the same power living in me that overcame death and the grave, I have the same power in me that made deaf people hear and blind people see...I talk every day to the King of kings and Lord of lords and HE HEARS ME!!!! Take that, Satan!

How are your first days of school going? Are you in public, private or home school?

One Year...Gotcha Day!

One year ago today I held my daughter for the first time. The little girl we had seen pictures of and stared at those pictures for months and prayed for was finally in my arms. What a difference a year makes...The first few days in China were lifeless stares most of the day and crying mostly at night. The past year has been filled with books, playing with blocks, learning English, playing at the park, getting to know personality, getting to know family and what that means, bonding, attaching, understanding mommy and daddy always come back, brothers sometimes are rough, first birthday in America, first Thanksgiving with family, first Christmas with forever family, first New Year in America, meeting friends and relatives, and recently starting mother's day out 2 days a week...and many many other things in between that I'm sure I've left out or not remembering at the moment.

You see, Gotcha Day for an adopted child is as important as a birthday for a biological child.  The day my boys were born the doctor handed them to me and I saw their precious faces for the first time after 9 long months of waiting.  January 30, 2012 an orphanage director handed me my daughter and I saw her precious face for the first time in person after almost 18 months of waiting.



Today has been an emotional one for me as I think back and look at video from gotcha day (see above). I see a picture of God's faithfulness. She has come so far and it's amazing to me because I know that it's nothing I've done. I've just done what comes naturally to me as a mother...I've nurtured, loved, kissed boo boos, tickled tummies and dressed her in things that are pink. God is the only one that can take an orphan, place her in a home in another country and weave her into a family tapestry as if she had been in it since the day she was born instead of abandoned at an orphanage gate shortly after. The reason why is because God has been a father to many orphans. He knows how to do that perfectly and it's incredible!

Our two boys have been so awesome about this as well.  I'm so proud of how acccepting they have been of their sister that gets all of the attnetion now and how they have loved and protected her since she's been here. I love all 3 of the children with which God has blessed Ernie and me. They're amazing, fun, talented, gifted and even when they drive me up a wall I'm grateful for the time I have with them. God is good all the time...if you don't believe me then look at what He has done:

 January 30, 2012

 October 2012

December 2012

Oops...

It has been since April???  Wow...I'm sorry to anyone out there that follows this blog or cares about blogging, but a lot of things have been happening!!!

I have done my best to adjust being a work from home mom to a toddler full time.  I have to say that I didn't realize that it would be that much of an adjustment, but it just has.  There was a lot of transition all at once in life! Don't get me wrong, I don't regret any decisions that we have made for our family, but there was just a learning curve that lasted longer than I expected.  I consider myself a quick study, but there is nothing about adoption that is quick.  If I've learned anything over this journey it has been that fact!

I probably had my normal unrealistic expectations for myself and for how things would be to parent a toddler 24/7, maintain a home, carpool for 2 kids at 2 different buildings & run 2 companies from my home. I expected to come home and just be able to have all this time to do things at home, always be caught up on laundry, my house would be clean...you know...I'm such a realist! Obviously this hasn't been the case. Time management has been more challenging than it has ever been at any stage of my life, but hopefully I'm getting better at it as the days and weeks fly by.

MJ has done so incredible that I don't even know what else to say.  She speaks in sentences and amazes us at how much she has learned and retains. She is like a little sponge with a huge desire to learn more. She asks a lot of questions and is curious about everything and unbelievably observant. I can't say enough about how well she must have been cared for at the orphage in order for her to have had this smooth of a transition after being uprooted from everything that she knew in life.  We are truly grateful for Maoming SWI and Half the Sky organization who trains the nannies and helps run the orphanage.

Her language really took off when the boys were home for the summer and with her all day. She adores both of them and wants to be like them and do everything they do so I think this was motivation. I tried to keep them busy...remember that I've NEVER been home with ANY of my kids for the summer...much less THREE!!! I had a "freak out" moment weeks before school let out and my dear sweet hubby helped me get a list of things that we could do to keep them busy on a budget as well as maintain some type of normalcy with her nap schedule. Here are a few pictures from this summer:
Lots of time at the park...

 Time with orphanage buddy, Ayla at the park & some swimming...

 Ferrill time...MJ & Cricket love play dough!

Peach park fun!

Beach for the first time

 

There was a whole lot more, but those are a few.  Jackson started 5th grade this year (next year...middle school! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh) and Carson started 2nd.  They both love their teachers and are doing well in school so far. They both played football also which was a challenge to keep our little tomboy off the field!

 

Lots of firsts for this little girl and we celebrated her 3rd birthday, but her first one in America with her forever family! I'll post more pictures soon, but I wanted to at least say that I've done another post since she's been home! LOL. Roll Tide Roll, Go Pack Go and God bless you all!